I wonder what will happen to my soul when my body is dead?
At the moment my lungs draw its last breath of air, will I see the angel of death hovering at the edge of my vision? Will I see Izrael taking a hold of my spirit? Will he wrench it away or just gently pull it out? or will I just feel the sensation without seeing any angel?
At that instant, will my whole life flash in front of me? Will I silently beg for some more time? At least a little? What if I am not ready to go meet my Lord?
Will I feel a crushing fear, paralyzing, terrifying? Knowing that my time is up, but my whole life I have not prepared enough for the final meeting?
I would be lying if I said I do not fear death. For I know what awaits the wicked on the other side. I know all our deeds in this world will be accounted for. Even if it is as small as an atom. Life after death is just the beginning. It is a prelude to the Day of Judgment. After death of the body, there is no turning back. No second chance. It has been more than 2 decades since I first drew breath on this Earth but have I done much? I do not think so.
Every day I spend enjoying the earthly life and its vast entertainments. But what is this except a veil that has been pulled over our eyes? A brief stop before the final destination. Just a mere trickle of the taste of Jannah or (God forbid) Jahannam, that awaits us after the death of this world.
But knowing this, why do I still forget His Grace? Why do I still disobey His orders? Why do I put earthly matters above preparations to meet Him after I die? Why do I think of other trivial matters when I pray? Why do I not read His words in the Holy Quran and gain understanding from them? Where do I get the nerve to still engage in matters that anger Him? Do I not fear the threat of an-Nar? The fires that are borne of wicked humans, that are even hotter than the heat of the sun...
For I, a mere mortal human, who is slave to the Almighty is too weak to carry this burden without His leave. So I pray to Him, to give me strength. So that I am always ready to meet Death and I will go happily to my Lord, Creator, Beloved. Ameen ya Rabbal Aalameen