And in distancing myself from my Creator, therein I feel such a sense of loss. 

Where from before He was my greatest source of Comfort, my Guardian, my Protector,  I reach down deep inside and I find only remnants of the past slipping from between my fingers, crumbling into so many dust motes that whispers its mournful sigh as the wind lightly buoys the specks into the relentless heat of the sun. 

My source of Strength, Allah, God, Ya Qawiyy, The Only One who is Eternal and Everlasting. Who is Ever Watchful, Ever Knowing of all that we do. A deep sadness pervades my inner being. A dark, heavy feeling of foreboding, a sense of fear that my Everlasting Refuge, the One who I turn to in times of sadness, depression and loneliness is floating and dancing in the corner of my soul but not the strong, burnished light of which I could draw strength from before. 

I weep for the days that has passed where I was heedless of Him. 

I sigh. How lonely it is to be without His Light, His Noor, His Mercy. How I long for the day when we finally enter His Kingdom, the Eternal Abode, Jannah. 

And in one of the narrations from the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) 

Hadeeth Qudsi 1: 

- Muslim, Bukhari, an-Nasa'i and Ibn Majah (chain of authority is sound)

For Allah is oft Forgiving, Most Merciful, Most Loving. Forgive us our sins ya Allah and grant us paradise Ya Mujeeb, The Granter of Du'a.