I just feel like writing today.
Oh. I just realized the toolbar layout for blogger has changed. FTW! How long have I been away?
I guess Tumblr's too much fun compared to this site. haha

The topic for today is: random.
I'll write as the idea strikes me.

Malay bloggers
I was blogwalking yesterday. Found some really interesting blogs. I really liked this guy's writing style. He's a regular columnist in Sinar Harian. He writes at MaafCakap. I found his musings vastly intriguing add to the fact that he writes in Malay and his words are so structured and beautiful. Well, of course you'd expect that from an article columnist right. I guess what I'm trying to get at is it's been ages since I came across a good piece of writing in my own tongue plus he's got some good religious perspective on everyday life. That's made me an instant follower! I wonder what Sinar Harian is though. I've never heard of this paper before. Aaah Malaysia, how I miss you.
So after I was done reading his posts, I trolled the other blogs he followed: this blog was the exact opposite of his: EVERYTHING was in English! I had to salute the guy for good, tolerable grammar. Even his posts had a distinctly religious feel about it plus he was a fellow cyclist! Usually, I'd cringe at every single grammar mistake people make when writing in English (as if I'm that perfect ey?) lol. but seriously. It does gets on my nerves sometimes. However, this guy did not evoke that many cringes. So I was happy.

The last blog I trolled was called Engineering Minds. That made me curious. I scrolled through the guy's post and discovered that he's studying in UTP trying to get his Engineering degree and he's moaning about how bad working life is compared to student life. That brought me back to my internship days. I could totally relate! Being stuck in the office for 8 hours is just a special kind of torture that's an adult exclusive. Since I was getting depressed from his posts, I left and walked elsewhere. All that blog hopping made me realize there aren't that many guys who write about how they feel and etc. i.e. blog. Most bloggers are gals.
I guess it's logical since women like to express themselves through writing and it does help that we're good at it. But when it comes to the guys, they almost always have a point to say. There's always an underlying theme to their writings. And from these, we can actually differentiate between the minds of women and men.
Okay. I'm getting too philosophical here.  I just find it interesting that the way we think can be so different. Let's just leave it at that.

Supervisors
Every time I say supervisor or s/v for short, I get that weird kind of 'superior than thou' chill. The fact that you have an s/v shows that you're actually close to finishing your degree, you're undertaking a huge project on your own where nothing is given to you. Just hints here and there whether you're on the right path or not. Speaking of which, my undergraduate thesis will be due by 4pm tomorrow. I'm planning on printing the required two copies by today so I can concentrate on other stuff. All I can say at this moment is: Praise Allah for His helping me through it all. There were times I thought I seriously could not finish. I thought of giving up. I thought of all sorts of possibilities; very few of them were positive. However, my mind kept replaying that year, where, for the first time, I was struggling to pass a subject. All I could do was invest my effort into the one final exam. I was at the end of my tether. Nothing could help me. Except the grace of Allah. So I prayed to Him. I asked for His help. I told him of my woes. I told Him how scared I was. I told Him, I had to get through. Just please, show me a way. Help me. At the same time, I felt something tell me, I must DO something. So I went and asked my seniors to help me with the tougher questions. It was do or die at that point. Every waking moment I spent studying and analysing questions for the coming exam. I had 3 weeks. And at the end, all I remember is Allah was indeed there for me. He listened to my prayers. He watched me when I cried. And most importantly, He granted my du'a. Ever since then, even though I feel something is nigh impossible to achieve, I will always, always remember the time when Allah helped me and then I will say to myself, it's okay Maryam, Allah is there. I have Him. He will show me a way. Even if I can't see it yet. I just put all my trust in Him and ask Him to guide me, guide me, guide me. Wahdini ya Allah!
And Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. I have managed to finish. What I thought was impossible is now possible and it's all because of my Allah and all praise goes to the Lord of the 'Aalamin :')

I guess now you could say this post was just a love letter to my Allah. Thank you for being there for me and make me Your ever grateful slave.