I'm not getting any younger. The fact is, I am old. I look around me and all my juniors have either graduated, are working a 9-5 job or are graduating and then I look at myself: still studying! holla!
I get even more depressed when I visit my friends virtually i.e. troll their fb pages. One's engaged, four of them got married this year. One last year. Some of them are pregnant and waiting to give birth. Another just got a baby. The first one to get married is toting his baby around. My best friend from kindy just got married a week ago! And if they're not married, they'd be busy with their jobs and hanging out with colleagues, most of them are just waiting to get hitched anyway. Of course they'd have someone special already in their lives. It's what's expected of them at this age.
And I'm like... yeah. Enough said. It's like time just forgot to include me for some reason. So today, I feel a marriage post coming up. It's so appropriate! hehe

It's a good thing that my blog has so few followers. So I can blog about whatever the hell I want without any serious repercussions. FTW! So if my post is all about marriage, it must mean a special someone, right? I mean, you can't get married to yourself d'oh (this excludes the crazy cheerleader coach from Glee)

Right. Here goes. I think in order to love someone, you have to love yourself first and this is impossible to do if you don't appreciate yourself or worse, you have no sense of identity. Because you see, if you start a relationship with someone, it has to have MEANING. If you're filled with insecurities about how you look and how you feel about yourself, you'd be searching for someone who can make you feel secure by telling you nice things about yourself, and in the end he will dictate your sense of self. Coz girl, you ain't had any in the first place! I tell you, the most annoying thing I've come across with girls my age is the way they let their so called boyfriends run their life: oh, my bf doesn't want me to wear this! Oh my bf wants me to eat this! oh, my bf says I look great wearing this! For the Love of God! They all seem like a brainless bunch of ninnies who can't think for themselves! I could seriously tear my hair out if I stay in the same room with them. Like. Seriously.

This boyfriend topic always gets on my nerves. Girls will be girls. Boys will be boys. If  a girl likes a boy and the boy likes the girl, they go out on dates. They become a couple. Everyone's happy. Everyone gushes with unbridled joy. And then there's me. I troll this photo of a gal pal who's smiling from ear to ear with her cheek squashed to her boyfriend's. I click on another photo of her hand atop the bf's hand with their couple ring. and then of them in a car together, driving to God knows where. And I think to myself: that can't be right. Since when was it permissible for girls to hold a boy's hand? Since freaking when??
Since when was it permissible for girls to go out with boys in car rides across the country? Since freaking when??
God damn it, is it written in the Loh al Mahfuz that your bf will be your husband? Is it certain that you will get married? Then what in heaven's name are you doing? Prancing around with a stranger, a man at that, halfway across the country, in his car? Astaghfirullah al azeem. May the Lord have mercy on us all. To think that this day would come. When the society is indifferent to all this. and the mothers and fathers are okay with their daughters behaving this way. Lord have mercy.

And so. I come to this confession. I have never had any interest in having a boyfriend and so I have never been in a relationship. Is this strange to you? You damn straight it is! But I don't care for the doings of society that brings them near to the wrath of Allah. For to me, it is pleasing Him that matters, not the society! I stand by my decision and I will obey His word when He says: "Do not come near to Zina. For surely it is a despicable thing". Yes. it. is. despicable. Love outside of marriage. Imagine countless love stories? Imagine that? How on earth will you savor the moment when you finally get married with all those haunting memories of the ones you loved in your past? I just don't get it.

And I still don't get it. How everyone's okay with this boyfriend issue. How everyone's been brainwashed into thinking it's a permissible part of MUSLIM society. After all, without a boyfriend, how will you get married? Right?
Pfft... spare me your nincompoop theories. Too many times I've seen someone going out with their bf for years and when it comes to marriage they end up with a completely, totally different person. So don't be a hypocrite and tell me boyfriends prepare you for the person you'll marry. Bull freaking shit.

So naturally you can see how much this topic means to me. Allah has decreed  He has created everything in pairs. One fore you. One for me. I wonder if mine has actually been run over by a truck or something. For surely, in this day and age, it's nigh impossible to find someone whose NEVER had a girlfriend before, has NEVER gone on dates, he's averse to even touching a girl's hand, ALWAYS prays his 5 daily prayers, does NOT mix freely with girls, IS good looking (had to put that in!) and the list goes on. This species is extinct. For all I know my other half really was involved in a hit and run and is already six foot under. Boo hoo... I've always got my cats to fall back on. haha.

And that concludes my topic on marriage. If you're out there Mr Good Looking, don't forget to drop me a line. Assuming I'll even read it!
Oh oh... and I think this is a fitting line for us to ponder, for all those single ladies out there:
"The better person you become, the better people you attract." So focus on becoming better and Allah willing, we will attract the right kind of person =]