esprit de corps

2012 and what it means

2012-01-14T23:09:00.001+11:00

Well hello and peace be unto you!
This is my first post in 2012. Contrary to other bloggers out there who had to post up some kind of new year resolution post on the 1st day of January, I, have shied away from doing just that. Mainly because I was so lazy to come up with any kind of update. So. We're already into the 14th day of 2012.
How do I feel? First off, I feel so awesomely over the top grateful for managing to finish my undergraduate course within the 4 years and surviving all those grueling years without failing any of the units! phew!
All praise to the Almighty of course. Without His help, I wouldn't have been able to finish!
The crowning glory to my achievement was my final year project which got a Distinction! Thank God all that work paid off handsomely :)
Now. I think it's kind of weird not thinking of February as the month where I'm supposed to go back to Tassie for another year of study. And cue the end of my summer holidays at home! Wage war on all the units I will be taking. The suspense. The stress. The memories. The good times. The bad times. The sushi times! Aaah... I'll definitely miss my student moments. So many good things to be proud of: featured in the news twice! in the uni paper and local papers. On local TV news. Got my face plastered on the posters and in the uni magazine! ;) Definitely memorable for me. My undergrad years.
Now. I have the whole year to get myself adjusted to working life. I've reported to my sponsors and practically overwhelmed them with my CV (haha) and now I'm just waiting for the interview call. Thus ends the chapter on my uni life and a new, fresh page on working as an Engineer. Phew. Wonder how it will be. I really hope I'll get posted to somewhere exotic. I LOVE traveling. I mean who doesn't right? But the problem was always not enough money. If my company decided to sponsor than all the better!
So many things to look forward to in 2012.
In time honored tradition, what the heck, I'll just post a few on-going resolutions or might I say good habits I hope I'll stick with:

Less procrastination. Meaning, fill every second with something useful to do. Never let time take control, but instead we control time.
Personal development: Get good at all areas of life through learning and dumping good stuff into my brain.
Get fit and healthy. Follow a healthy lifestyle. Work out 5 days for a minimum of 30 mins EVERY week. Find time to get fit. Not enough time is never an excuse. Slowly but surely mind my diet and what I feed my body. Junk or nutrition?
I wanna get to know my own deen: Islam. I wanna develop myself to become a better devotee before I meet my soulmate. If we are good, we'll attract goodness. Insha Allah
I want to be able to direct my own life, and make it the best it could be. I want to be the best me.

I guess that's just it then. I suppose I've got a long way to go. But life is an adventure, as they say. So I'll live my adventure according to my own terms under the shade of my deen. Everyone will surely taste death. My goal is to live each and every day as if it were my last. So that if I did die, I would have absolutely no regrets when it's time to meet my Lord. Allah willing. Ameen!

For the love of JUNK FOOD!

2011-12-12T10:58:00.001+11:00

This post is dedicated to the person who knows what to eat to stay healthy but refuses to let go of her love for junk food. She's in self denial at the moment. Thinking that munching on just a little won't be self destructive.

At first it was the 2 x 2XL pizzas from Dominos ordered at 9pm!!! Yes. She knows that eating after sunset is very much discouraged. Eating at night especially 'heavy' meals is a major no no. Know why? Because nearing bed-time our body's metabolism slows down in preparation for sleep. This means the food we consume will be transformed into fat stored beneath the skin instead of being burnt for energy! *She is cringing from this knowledge right now and the crime she's committed* Eating before sunset is the best way to ensure the food we eat gets burnt into energy since the ideal time for dinner (or last meal of the day) is around 4 hours before sleep. This is the time it takes to break down foods into their respective components.

After eating dinner consisting of lots and lots of seafood, she consumed tons of chocolate and had a major stomach ache afterwards. *Serves her right ey?* Well, coupling dairy with fish will definitely result in an upset stomach reason being the enzymes that break down protein from fish inside the stomach doesn't function as well when dairy is added to the mix. So this must be avoided at all costs! It's pretty important to know that mixing white meat with red meat is also a healthy diet sacrilege i.e. don't mix beef with chicken! and separate the seafood from the food we get off the farm. The reasons being the enzymes yet again. Of course, staying on course might be daunting but it CAN be done. All that matters is will power and PORTION CONTROL.

She keeps guzzling down loads of sweetened beverages i.e. melon milk, mango milk, soy milk and the list goes infinitely long. She feels guilty of course but she'd never pass any offer for anyone of these drinks, something like guilty pleasure. These sweet beverages are the real culprits of gaining weight since they contribute to the extra calories we wouldn't have gained from the (already healthy) food we ate.

Knowing the things she knows, it's surprising she can still show her face inside the health and fitness clubs. If Jillian Michaels was her trainer, she'd be mush on the floor, begging for mercy for her dietary trespasses claiming her will was not strong enough.

Yup. Considering her goal is to get ripped similar to Jillian's, Jennifer Garner or Jessica Biel's or any toned athlete's physique, she should be ashamed of herself.

She then reminds herself of her tae bo session with Billy Blanks and his daughter Shelly Blanks. Get her game on and get amped.

"What you look today is what your mind and will make you look"- Billy Blanks

Good hand-eye coordination

2011-12-09T11:17:00.000+11:00

One of the many benefits of gaming: re-read the title of this post.
OK, I haven't done number 1 on my to do list yet. I got my bro to download Crisis Core on PSP Go. So I'm really just biding my time. Really.

I can't start no. 11 or 12 i.e. improve Maxsurf and Rhino Skills until I get the help manual and training guide and they'll arrive on Malaysian shores by mid December. (this is such a lame excuse I know)

Usually I'm really choosy with any of the PS2 or PC games I play. I remember playing the Crusader (he was dressed all in red, looked like iron-man a bit and all we had to do was shoot people but the graphics was amazing, all the rendering was so smooth and looked real). Then I had a go at Doom but I'd always hover above the enemies and shoot them from the sky. Hey, they were really ugly looking dudes and scary to boot. Then there was Earthworm Jim which was the hardest game ever. I kept killing myself. I remember Pitfall, which had a really catchy soundtrack to it and the highlight was fighting the cheetah. A bit Tarzan-isque. And let's not forget the ultimate PC game of the 90s, DOS mode!!!: Prince of Persia. Yeah I lost count of how many times I got killed coz of the spikes on the ground in this one.

My favorite PC game was a collaboration between EIDOS and Square Soft (now known as Square Enix). Hands down, the best Role playing game EVER MADE. C'mon take a guess now.. oh well, put us all out of our misery already ey... it's called Final Fantasy VII. The most successful series in the FF line coz of the intriguing story line and very relatable heroes (and heroines). And let's not forget the super awesome jaw-dropping computer generated images (CGI) which was beyond their time. The PC was really slow at the time and playing a 2 minute cut scene took ages. Like. Literally. AGES!!!! The 3 CD game was packed really nicely with Cloud Strife on the front cover, hefting his Buster Sword and Shinra/Midgar in the background.

I beat ALL the weapons including Emerald Weapon. I mastered all the materias and gained all the special materias. But the one thing I didn't get was Ribbon. I still don't understand how I missed getting the greatest accessory in FF. Anyways, my favorite players were Tifa, Red XIII and Cloud. I hated Cait Sith. Min was okay with her Clear Tranquil limit break but in the end she was kind of weak (and annoying!!!! Still can't forgive her for playing that trick on me. Stole all of my materias!!!). Barret was plain unattractive and handicapped (haha, shoot me I'm a racist). Who else was there? Cid was kind of strong in the end but I didn't train him like I did for Cloud, Tifa or Nanaki. His Viper Halberd really came in handy. I could go pages and pages on FF7. Didn't hurt that Tetsuya Nomura handled the visual side of it: read: his illustrations were perfect. And of course I have the Blue-ray version of Advent Children. You kidding me?

Now to get to the point of this post: I haven't had much fun playing games since gaming God of War I and II (hands down best game in this day and age, graphics were flawless, storyline even more interesting coz of the play on Greek Mythology). And Kratos was handsome eye candy.

But hey it wasn't a walk in the park. I had to get a hang of some of his skills to kill that biatch Medusa. Turned me to stone like 16 times!!!! until I killed her. So yeah, a really great game. And then now, since I've graduated (no longer a student, holla!), I went and bought meself Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, yeah I was enchanted with Angelina Jolie in her awesome movie.

Turns out the game was developed by EIDOS. Deja vu? The storyline's got enough depth to it and the gameplay? It blew me away. I knew there was a lot of hype to the game. So I guess I knew what to expect. Not. The game's super tough! Especially if you were still figuring out how to hang onto sides of the cliff and jump from ledge to ledge. And hang from hooks (?) attached to the ceiling. It got so tough that I gave in to the temptation: I searched the walkthroughs to get past this particular stage with the giant octopus. Turned out there was this minor detail that I overlooked. But so far, this is, hands down, the best game (aside from God of War) that I've played in a long time. The only downside are the graphics. They look really bad. Horribly pixelated background. Dunno, probably coz of the new LCD TV?
I'm up to the stage where Lara's going to South Mexico to find Thor's hammer. Super awesome. She's riding a super-bike this time around. Now that's girl power.

Happy

2011-12-06T11:49:00.000+11:00

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can't have everything
Don't you take chances
Might feel the pain
Don't you love in vain
Cause love won't set you free
I can't stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

[Chorus:]
So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, yeah
Just wanna be happy, yeah

[Verse 2:]
Holding on tightly
Just can't let it go
Just trying to play my role
Slowly disappear, ohh
But all these days, they feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names
Get me out of here
I can't stand by your side, ohh no
And watch this life pass me by, pass me by

[Chorus:]
So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, ohh, happy, ohh

[Bridge:]
So any turns that I can't see,
like I'm a stranger on this road
But don't say victim
Don't say anything

[Chorus:]
So what if it hurts me?
So what if I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don't care about all the pain in front of me

[Outro:]
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, yeah, happy, ohh, happy
I just wanna be, ohh
I just wanna be happy
Ohh, happy

The awesome percussion that plays just as she gets into the chorus: epic! :0

Dad's new speaker system

2011-11-30T16:20:00.000+11:00

Compared to my mini TDK stereo that dad bought in Japan. Let's just say there is no basis for comparison. Dad's new surround sound system is outta this world. Like. Hell yeah. The new amplifier is sweeeet as!
I could sit there on the sofa, in a trance, all day long if I wanted to if not for my neighborly concerns that I was making too much noise. I wish I didn't have a conscience. haha.
Anyway let's have a look see why don't we?

The really spiffy amplifier. Dad set it to MD so it made life a whole lot easier for the rest of us

New LCD TV Panasonic Viera: best feature: plays movies and audios from USB sticks!!! yeehaaw! lol! I am super excited!!! It doesn't read my Ipod though, only charges it.. FTW!

my cute TDK speaker with my now defunct Ipod fatty: still looking cool with his gelaskin ;p

The relative size of my speaker to the rest of the stuff in my bedroom. Please ignore the mess. It's kinda like organized chaos right now. At least I know where everything is.

Got milk?

2011-11-30T16:07:00.000+11:00

Dad brought tons of fresh milk yesterday. Straight from the pasture okay... amazing right? And guess what? He had to pasteurize all of them since they're really, really fresh.
I had the worst cold yesterday, my ears were aching, my throat was really sore, there was an endless strain of mucus clogging my nostrils. In short, I had never had a cold this bad. Ever. Not even in my 4 years at Tassie. Goes to show how polluted the air is over here. No?? And speaking of colds, of course you'd have heard of milk and honey being the best cure? or lemon and honey if you want. But since all I gots are tons of milk, I opted for the first choice naturally.
Warm milk and manuka honey I bought from Tassie for my really annoying cold. Heaven.

I didn't even bother counting, there were too many bottles -.-" *sarcasm here*
We've still got some more milk (at least I hope to God my bros and mom haven't finished them already looking at the huge amounts of cereal that's being gobbled up every morning, wait a sec, we've got no cereal left!!! oh well..)
I'm totally hiding the last bottle of fresh milk so I get to have it all to myself. hehe
Thanks dad! You're the best! mwahxxxx

At long, long last

2011-11-27T22:49:00.000+11:00

Results came out on Friday at exactly 900 hours (Aussie time).

This time it was a big deal. I mean, every time results are out I'd get that nerve-wracking feeling: my heart would start beating like crazy until it felt like it was gonna tear out of my chest. I'd psyche myself up trying to open the student portal but it'd always take at least 3 tries until I actually logged in to check my results. Even then, I'd close my eyes and then focus on the subjects, hoping for no fails and all passes. This time around would be the last time I'd have to go through this process. Funnily enough, you'd expect me to be a certified nervous wreck, gibbering at nothing considering the stress factor associated with it, the final results to determine if we graduate or if we have to repeat a unit and defer another year!(my single worst nightmare).

This time around, it took just ONE click. I logged in, and I left it all to Allah the Almighty. What will be, will be. I've poured everything I had into the units this year (except for MMS, but hey I hate schematics and all that sh*t). I blinked. I saw my results. And the first thing I saw was a whopping DN for my final year project! 75% yo! I had to pat myself on the back for that. Mom told me that Giles said my thesis was the best student thesis he'd seen in his 20 years of teaching. I was kinda disbelieving at that time. But yeah, what a huge relief looking at proof that my year long obsession and hard work had finally paid off. wa alhamdulillah!
I was kinda happy looking at my results for Marine Machinery Systems considering the limited amount of knowledge I had with electrics. Not my strong suit. At all.

And I got good marks for OVD. Was hoping for something a little bit higher but I was 2 marks under. Whoop de do! Just goes to show that I need lotsa practice with ship design. Especially Rhino modeling.

I thought I did really well in the Yacht Design exams but probably handing in the 2nd assignment late (1st time ever in my 4 years at AMC and Binnsie was so unforgiving! c'mon man, just don't cut 10% off already! it's our final semester for God's sake!!! grrrrr) really affected my overall mark so I just skimmed through and got me ac credit. Good mark. And by far, my favorite subject. I just fell in love with my own drawings. Can you believe it? haha.. I wish I was into sailing. Probably I'll get into it one of these days?

All in all. I think I had a really good run at the AMC. Gained loads of happy memories, stressful ones, really sad ones, bad ones and of course the goofy ones. Hehe. Finally. I'm an AMC graduate. I know people who'd kill for that title. Soon I'll be another statistic that says I'm one among the rest of the others who's got a job! =) let's hope I get to travel someplace interesting! oh and last but not least. I got engineering HONORS! weeheeheehee!!!!!!

Introspective

2011-11-26T10:22:00.001+11:00

Brother, stand the pain
We' filled with skin, blood, veins, bone, soul and brain
There's no room for lack of trust
We must just read to act and bust
Don't go back to sleep, time for prayer
Don't let it defeat ya, time to find what's ya real need my player
You who only see me as an entertainer
See this here I have to say; I have this world
But I also have my faith
The early breeze dawn
Is my energy shot
When I don't make it in time, feel like everything drops
Learn from Ali how to fight
Without the ego in sight
I gotta fast for a while so my nature is cleansed
The hidden sweetness from my stomachs empiness is my friend
U who only see me as an entertainer
See this here I have to say
I want to be free from this ego dog of mine
Cuz it hides who I am and it's wasting my time
Put a leash on it brother
Once he sniffs he is on fire
Learn from Ali how to fight
Without the ego in sight
I gotta fast for a while so my nature is cleansed
The hidden sweetness from my stomachs emptiness is my friend
U who only see me as an entertainer

Yeah! Lo voy a hacer
Pa' mi barrio con el que siempre puedo disponer
Y que salga como salga
Esta vez va pa' la calle
Para todos mis consortes que no pierden ni un detalle
Me preguntan de donde soy
Soy del rumbo
Donde todos son muy duros pero justos
Donde toda sinfonía es con pasíon
Tú que solo buscas un entertainer
Mis línias están aquí
Es mi vida tengo lengua
Eso es así
Yo digo lo que veo y reflejo lo que siento
Honduras, mi Cuba, Dinamarca manifiesto
Mis pensamientos de la calle han fluido
Con los pies sobre la tierra escucho su crujido
Aquí toda sinfonía es con pasíon
No solo soy un anfitrión
This

[Translation:]
Yeah I'm gonna do this
For my hood who always have my bag
And come what may
This time it's for the streets
To all my Moros that don't miss any detail
They ask me where I'm from
I'm from way over there
Where everyone is hard but rightful
Where every symphony is with passion
U who only is looking for an entertainer
My words are right here
This is my life I've got a voice
That is just how it is
I have to say what I think, I reflect what I feel
Honduras, Cuba and Denmark I get to represent
These thoughts, they flow from the streets
With my feet on the ground I hear them rustle
Here every symphony is with passion
I'm not only a master of ceremony
This

Lets keep it shoulder to shoulder and feet to feet
Straighten our lines from inside and to on the streets
It's the voice of a new generation that can't be beat
It's that type of music that gets under our skin n meat
It made me bow down to the Most High
And realize whoever said that a grown man can't cry they lied
See every soul will taste death
I only fear Him
I address His beloved with a peace be upon him

Be optimistic

2011-11-25T11:20:00.000+11:00

"You can't have a positive life with a negative mind"
This quote speaks volumes on how our thoughts affect our behavior. Take this for example: if all that you can think of are negative thoughts i.e. you revel in wallowing in negativity, well, it follows that the life you have shaped around you whether you realize it or not would reflect this to a certain extent. This becomes worse if you inevitably surround yourself with negative people who not only put themselves down but drags them down with you. Tons of research has been done on this topic alone. Do you remember that popular quote, mind over matter? Well, it's mainly because the power of the human mind has no bounds, only the ones you decided to set for yourself. Instead of using negative connotations, try using only positive ones. Anthony Robbins once mentioned this in one of his numerous lectures pertaining to how to control our thoughts; use positive words and turn the negative into positive.
Of course, if the environment around you is very highly negative, does this mean we have to surrender to their demands. Hell no! Once positive, always positive. Positive thinking is the key to everything positive in life. Some people have so much positive energy that it effects the surroundings around them. I'm gonna take America for example. If you observe the way their citizens speak, you will get what I mean. It is very rare that they do not praise someone or thank someone or plain ignore someone. I think the reason why America has become such a power house is because of their overwhelmingly positive attitude towards life in general. They're always using the word great! excellent! amazing! and constantly praising every single effort done by anyone. This positive energy is what we need to cultivate in ourselves. There's no logic to putting oneself down constantly. Know your strengths, play on those strengths and just stay positive. 'You are beautiful, words won't bring you down' Don't let people be the boss of you and dictate your sense of self. Counter every negative thought with a positive one. In life's dictionary, to be happy, think happy, uplifting thoughts and smile. After all it is the only language that the whole world understands. =)

Hey Ma! Look what I found!

2011-11-23T21:01:00.000+11:00

Lip Scuff from The Body Shop

Lip moisturiser from The Body Shop

I am not a make up fan. Being a fervent supporter of natural beauty and subtle is best; add to the fact that we as muslimas should only pretty ourselves up for our husbands, wearing make up is kinda like a taboo for me. However, the use of ku'hl or kajal or eyeliner made from coal (I believe) is a sunnah. Some people say it applies to men and not to women. But I believe the benefit of wearing ku'hl is too good not to take up. So yes, I do apply ku'hl only because our beloved Prophet (p.b.u.h.) used to do so. And Arab and Hindustani women seem to wear it a lot. So... Allah knows best in the end.
Back to the topic aka the pretty pictures above: I found these gems whilst shopping with my parents at Elizabeth St. Last minute shopping at The Body Shop. The lip Scuff does just like its namesake: it scuffs the lips and get rids of those unsightly skin hanging off it when your lips get too dry and dehydrated. I think whoever invented this should get the Noble Prize for make up invention of the century. I've tried it once and I've definitely made the right choice. The lip moisturiser works perfectly with the lip scuff. And best of all: it's natures way to beautiful aka natural i.e. lips are left with no color, just a sheen of protection from the nasty air pollutive particles hiding and floating around in this KL air.
Best buy ever. o. And whilst browsing the web I found that Body Shop's Malaysia's got Kajal eyeliners now~.~ Bring it on!!!!

False attachments

2011-11-23T19:10:00.000+11:00

A comment on Yasmine Mogahed's lecture where she emphasized the importance of distancing yourself from all the luxuries of this world in order to prepare for the everlasting here after: it's not a good thing to get too attached to things or loved ones because all of them come from Allah and to Allah they return. So what is most important is what is inside ourselves. Have you ever wondered what level of imaan you had if everything was taken away from you? Could you withstand the most adverse circumstance and still remain true to your deen? InshaAllah this is a reminder to me and my fellow muslims and muslimas. The life of this world is just a passing entertainment and the after-life that goes on forever is our true destination. Wallahu 'alam, and Allah knows best. On the extreme end f the spectrum though, we've got muslims who focus on akhirat and totally neglect the life of this world and vice versa. Islam loves moderation in everything we do. There is a saying that means if we chase after akhirat, the life of this world will come running to us. Balance is key to a happy life. A good muslim is one who succeeds in all facets of his/her life. In work, we demonstrate the best ethics, the best performance and the best communications with friends and working our life to please Allah as the end goal. This topic leads to the great muslim leaders who managed to achieve this through their strength of faith alone. And who better to emulate than our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)? What a tremendous blessing if we could actually emulate his beautiful akhlaak and mannerisms. Masha Allah. Bi ithnillah. And there is no strength except by Allah's leave.

Apple earbuds vs. the rest of the world

2011-11-23T17:47:00.000+11:00

I wonder if anyone's noticed how bad Apple earbuds are. I mean. C'mon man, you shouldn't kid yourself. They are quite atrocious. I can't hear any clear separation between the sound components. At All. The thing that annoys me most is there ain't no clear bass. Which is really disappointing. Thank God for my Philips earphones. And even they're not up to my high standards. (If you can call it that) haha..
One thing on my list is the Adidas-Sennheiser earphones. How awesome is that? Next pay day and I'mma get me one of those. Yes. Please and thank you.

I'm confused about the type of earphone configuration though.. which one should I choose???!!!!! Dilemma of the century ~.~'

Favorite rendition

2011-11-23T17:35:00.000+11:00

Have you heard of the show called The Voice?
Well too bad if you haven't
I just wanted to share my favorite voice: Xenia's in Breakeven
And favorite coach quote when Blake Shelton said: I'm your biggest fan (to Xenia)

Best collab: Javier Colon in Stitch by Stitch with Adam Levine
Best song: Beverly McLellan in Piece of My Heart
Best duet: Dia Frampton with Blake Shelton in I won't back down

Best performance: Christina Aguilera in Moulin Rouge (not that I approve of her skimpy dress. sorry. fake boobs aside)
and Javier Colon and Adam Levine in Man in the Mirror

Stereo Hearts (GymClass Heroes ft. Adam Levine)

2011-11-23T15:50:00.002+11:00

Chorus
My hearts a stereo,
It beats for you so listen close,
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-ote,

Make me your radio,
Turn me up when you feel low,
This melody was meant for you,
So sing-a-long to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh, Oh oh oh
To my stereo
Oh oh oh oh,
So sing a long to my stereo

Verse 1
If I was just another dusty record on the shelf,
Would you blow me off and play me like everybody else,
If I asked you to scratch my back could you handle that,
Like yikky yea Travie I can handle that,
Further more I apologize for any skipping tracks,
It's just the last girl that played me left a couple cracks,
I used to used to used to now I'm over that,
Cause holding grudges over love is ancient artifacts,
If I could only find the note to make you understand,
Now sing it softly in your ear and grab you by the hand,
Keep it stuck inside your head like your favorite tune,
And know my hearts a stereo that only plays for you

Chorus
My hearts a stereo,
It beats for you so listen close,
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-ote,

Make me your radio,
Turn me up when you feel low,
This melody was meant for you,
So sing-a-long to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh, Oh oh oh
To my stereo
Oh oh oh oh,
So sing a long to my stereo

Verse 2
If I was an old school 50 pound boom box,
Would you hold me on your shoulder wherever you walk,
Would you turn my volume up in front of the cops,
And crank it higher when they told you to stop,
And all I ask is that you don't get mad at me,
When you have to purchase mad D Batteries,
Appreciate every mix tape your friends make,
You never know we come and go like on the interstate,
I think I finally found the note to make you understand,
If you can hear then sing a long and take you by the hand,
Just keep it stuck inside your head like your favorite tune,
And know my hearts a stereo that only plays for you

Chorus

My hearts a stereo,
It beats for you so listen close,
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-ote,

Make me your radio,
Turn me up when you feel low,
This melody was meant for you,
So sing-a-long to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh, Oh oh oh
To my stereo
Oh oh oh oh,
So sing a long to my stereo

Bridge
I only pray you never leave me behind,
Because good music can be so hard to find,
Ill take your head and hold it closer to mine,
Thought love was dead but now you're changing my mind,
YEAAAAAAA

Chorus
My hearts a stereo,
It beats for you so listen close,
Hear my thoughts in every note,
Oh oh,
Make me your radio,
Turn me up when you feel low,
This melody was meant for you,
So sing-a-long to my stereo
Oh oh oh oh, Oh oh oh
To my stereo
Oh oh oh oh,
So sing a long to my stereo

Saying goodbye

2011-11-23T14:40:00.001+11:00

Life at the AMC has never been smooth-sailing. To put it metaphorically, it's been a mixture of a very strong stormy season that gave way to a blustery morning that finally gave way to a beautiful day filled with a smatter of clouds and a brilliant blue sky.
Of course along the way, you'd inevitably end up making friends. Being asian, most of my friends were (ok let's face it, 99% of my closest friends were non-locals). Since the majority of time I spent over there was filled with finishing my assignments that dragged until the weekends, we learned to get a hold of each other pretty quickly. As the saying goes, 'birds of a feather flock together'; I made friends with people who could get with me, and I with them i.e. people who were set on their goals and were serious about graduating. My pals mainly consisted of Malaysians and Koreans. Big whoop of surprise here? I've been to Korea only once and I can tell you that after being friends with these guys Ho Wan Kim and JungWuk Lim that they are among the most polite people I've ever known. Very patient. and most importantly very,very helpful. They were also ultra hardworking and didn't mind going out of their way to help other people who were struggling with stuff. I still remember the late nights at the labs trying to finish off some kind of assignment: yacht design being the latest and resistance and propulsion being the first of its kind to warrant so much attention.

Anyways, in 2nd year, a Brazilian guy got into the course and he was really cool. He used to be a draftsman for Lloyds register and his drafting skills are out of this world. I frequently ask him for help most of the time considering my skills in that department.. haha.. but it was always good fun when we were trying to finish off our assignments. We tried to maintain a stress-free, laugh out loud session cause nothing went right when everyone got super tense with homework.. lol!

Yeah.. I'll miss those moments of stressing out in the labs and stressing out in my room. My laptop being my best friend. Far out total geekiness. Very few glimpses of my social life where I got to demonstrate my awkwardness in the gatherings. hehe.

Being the only girl in my class meant I had to beat the boys or join them. What you say?? No!!! I didn't undergo a sex change or something but I think I became more masculine.. is that the right term..? ROFL.. just kidding.. I'm still me. Gonna miss you AMC and Tassie.. aahh to breathe the world's freshest air again and look at the bluest sky.. sometime in the future?

Me and Mr Ho Wan Kim aka George aka very helpful friend during times at AMC

Me and Mr JungWuk Lim aka Jay aka best presenter with the best opening sequence during OVD

View of the labs: all of em are equipped with the latest technology: quad core triple quad core, windows 7, AutoCAD, Rhino, Maxsurf: best PC lab in the world I tell ya and the best printers ever

Bye George.. see ya in Pusan whenever you're there.

The wall where Yasmine had a candid capture. Huge as!

Movin' movin'

2011-11-23T13:07:00.000+11:00

I'm so used to having loads of agendas in my diary particularly since this last year that staying still even for a moment is kinda awkward. I think even 5 minutes of doing absolutely nothing is just...sad. All I do is daydream. Right now, ordering my thoughts is of utmost priority.
This is what I plan to do before February arrives

Play FF7 Crisis Core and game it
Make a scrapbook of my life at AMC/UTAS
Buy another official file for my certificates and etc.
Print off some glossy photos from my tumblr and iPhoto
Get fit and healthy and strive to keep my diet in check. At the moment I am in grave danger of causing harm to my body: read: diabetes and other diseases looking at the food I'm gobbling day to day. And the abs are fading into fat. FTW! Lord have mercy! Anything but that please.
Rest, relax, and enjoy my time before I get called to work
Update my blogs: I'm in the mood to write, write, write!
Think of other productive stuff to do
Catch up on my arabic and update my list of du'as and prayers.
Start some interior decos going (?!)
Update my Rhino and Maxsurf skills
Read all the RINA journals and think of subscribing which is way expensive considering I'm not a student anymore.. FTW! (one journal would cost aprox 100 ringgit)

Here's what I compiled today:

Maryam!

2011-11-15T17:40:00.000+11:00

Yawn.

Stretch.

Rub eyes.

Say your prayers. (in Arabic or your own language)

Pray. Ask for forgiveness for any transgressions.

Sins against our parents. Ourselves. Against our friends.

Against our families. Astaghfirullah al 'azeem. I seek forgiveness from the Almighty.

I seek refuge from my lowly nafs.

I seek my deen. Islam. Within myself. In the end, a Muslim alone is not strong enough. but A Muslim ummah could weather the most furious storm.

And to anyone who felt slighted by any of my posts, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to single anyone out.

They are just reminders that even I cannot adhere to under the most grievous circumstance.

But staying true to our faith no matter the most difficult circumstance. That's the only thing I ask of myself. And I. I still don't agree with this couple issue outside of marriage. I think I fell in love with someone beautiful to look at probably beautiful inside too (I believe I should serve myself some of that nasty forkroot tea for being such a ninny and a slap from Nynaeve). But. What is love if there's no love for God behind it? I think I got served. What? Yours truly? Haha. At least I've stayed true (bi ithnillah, with Allah's permission) to that one ayat that says la taqrabu zina. And come not near zina (intercourse). For surely it is despicable. I should check myself once in a while. Sometimes I don't stay true to what I write. And that is a grievous offense. What I am. Is human.

La hawla wa la quwwata illabillah. And there is no strength but with the will of Allah.

I love this quote from Ustaz Murtada:

A woman who wears hijab and the proper Islamic clothing is like a walking Quranic verse.

Lovely right? :)

Favorited!

At the end of the day, I leave everything up to Allah. If He wills it, so shall it be. Forever alone. Pathetic I know. But I've got standards you know. (As if I'm that pretty to begin with ey?)

I used to be beautiful

2011-10-22T03:55:00.001+11:00

I've always had a strange fascination with Egypt. The concept that cats were the main object of worship during that time further lends to my obsession. One of my favorite cartoons was the Mummies Alive and of course being a massive cat person, my favorite character was Nefertina. She's totally capable, has real martial arts skills, is not a total nit wit, can think on her own two feet and above all, she's decent. To me, women who like to show their form and curves and how booty-licious they are seem to have a self esteem issue to the point that they'd have to show evey bit of lovely shape or skin or form or figure that they have just to get men's attention. I gather this is because they have a very short thinking span so they can't really hold any good sort of conversation and hence when all else fails, just use you sex appeal right? get moon eyed over whatever the boyfriend says. Hold his hand. Go on dates like nobody's business. How utterly DESPERATE. To these women, please respect yourself more. Life is not all about selling your body to the world you know. Unless you really think you're a sex object. Well, alright. Please. Do show ;) love to see your performance

The story of Isa

2011-10-21T05:34:00.000+11:00

And Isa (peace be upon him), upon hearing of the story of Muhammad (peace and blessings upon him) immediately fell in love with his character. He prayed to the Lord "Bring me up to your heavens and let me be reborn so that I may meet your beloved"

And the traitor assumed Isa's face and was crucified for it. Whereupon the true Isa was risen up to the Heavens so that he could meet with Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) towards the end of the world.

Mother

2011-10-21T04:47:00.000+11:00

Do you remember?
I used to be your barbie doll.
You'd dress me up so I'd look pretty
You'd sew me clothes cut lovingly out of your own patterns
and I'd wear them proudly. I remember the black and blue paneled skirt.
The shirt with felix the cat. I'd never wear anything else after that.
And remember the polka dot skirt? I loved that one too.
Mother?
Do you know that I love you?
Mother?
You know, in my journey to find myself, I found you everywhere. In the end, I met you.
Shining the lantern. The light of guidance.
Mother?
Will you forgive my sins to you?
Mother?
I love you with all my heart.
Mother? Mother? Mother?
I thought that I had left you to the wolves, when the real truth of it all is you were always there saving me from them.
Mother?
It is time to roll the dice. And let the light shine again to all the corners of this Earth and let us be rid of all darkness. Now and forever.
Mother?
I'll hold your hand. And never let it go...

Beyond words

2011-10-21T04:37:00.002+11:00

With my right foot first
I stepped into the holy mosque
Upon the cold white marble
Where day and night people sat worshippin', praying
Right and left the mosque being cleaned
Shinin' not a particle of dust
The carvings of marble, the plates of gold
The symmetry of the whole mosque
Yeah the largest of it all
The came the grandest of the whole
The big beautiful house of Allah
Covered with black cloth and gold leaf writin'
My life flashed passed me, the good and the bad
Such a feeling my brother, never ever felt I had
A special bondage to the almighty
A sudden chill in me
Lookin' around the large floor was filled with unity
Circling the beautiful house
Chanting, people sitting, prayin' for forgiveness
Prayin' to do better I witnessed
Takin' a deep breath, tears was runnin'
I ran around the black house, the ancient black house
Built by Ibrahim, peace be upon him, circlin' 24 no doubt
I got closer, as did my heart, as did my soul, amazing
How everyone had their attention only on worshippin'
All concerns forgotten, focused on prayin'
Forgettin' everything matters and happenings just giving
I looked up in the sky thanking Allah for this journey
Sayin': I swear I didn't schedule to be here this early
I thought I'd come here like pops in my forties and fifties
And the doe I paid for the ticket, was meant for some hobby
But who am I to say if I will be alive tomorrow
Or 20 years from now, will my health be able to follow
For a moment I pictured my self 6 feet deep
In the cemetery, my corps in the same white sheets
Allah holds the master plan and it's already written
The pens are withdrawn, the pages are dry... it's written!

Looking back on my life
Life that's gladly been given to me
Open my eyes and embrace the smile
Given to you & I

Con mi mano derecha abro la puerta
Mi madre me recibe con un periÃ³dico y una carta
Veo fotos de mi padre abatido por disparos
De momentos ya yo espero
Que mis lÃ¡grimas caigan, me preparo
Me sorprende que mis ojos estÃ©n secos y mi alma estÃ© calmada
En mi cuerpo no hay dolor por una persona ya olvidada

[Translation:]
With my right hand I open the door
My mom welcomes me with a newspaper and a letter
I see pictures of my father fetched down by shots
In that moment I'm only waiting
For my tears to fall, I'm prepared
But to my surprise my eyes are dry and my soul is calm
In my whole body there's no sign of grief for a forgotten person

Staring outside, there was something I realized
Tomorrow the sun will rise, and together
Will see the beauty of eternity

Salgo a caminar y despejar mis pensamientos
Lo normal serÃa sufrimiento
O un parecido sentimiento
Le pido a Dios que lo amparÃ© en sus Ãºltimos momentos

[Translation:]
I go out, take a walk and clear my thoughts
The anticipated feeling would be suffering or something similar
I ask God to be merciful in the final hours

Looking back on my life
Life that's gladly been given to me
Open my eyes and embrace the smile
Given to you & I
Looking back on my life
No regret only the sweet journey
Lessons from the simple steps
Taking by you & I

With my right hand first
I open the door to the room where my woman gave birth
To my first born son
Only minutes before
I was in the waiting room, nervous
Moms giving me comfort
Family support
As I approached I could hear him crying
I didn't notice
That my tears were running
Pictured myself for a moment in the arms of my father
Flashback to the bended shoulders
On which I'd sit
Grabbing his finger
Taking my first step
Would I become like him?
After a certain age bottle up
Stop showing love
But cold handshakes throughout the years
Replaced by hugs
Father whispered in his ears
The family was gathered
Pictures were taken
My hands still shaking
My joy was beyond words
Him in my arms
3 generations of tears running so calm
He came with Gods blessing and grace so we named him Faizan

If I worship U in fear of hell, burn me in it
And if I worship U in hope of paradise, exclude me from it
But if I worship U for Your own being
Don't withhold from me Your everlasting beauty

If I worship U in fear of hell, burn me in it
And if I worship U in hope of paradise, exclude me from it
But if I worship U for Your own being
Don't withhold from me Your everlasting beauty

OUTLANDISH

Exercise never hurt anyone

2011-10-21T04:27:00.000+11:00

The world has fallen into deep slumber where all they can think of is dirty, fornicating, slow witted dumb things. Wake up! Live in this world around you! Wake Up! What are you doing? What are you thinking??? Blood and bloody ashes! In the name of the Light!
Stand up and go sweat it out for goodness' sake.
Every which one of us look ugly! Too much fat stored underneath the skin. No way of slimming down? What about having too much to eat? Have you forgotten the word play? Exercise? Running? Cycling? What is there to be afraid of in this big bad world? Open your eyes.
It's not bloody bad at all!
Don't you want to look Beautiful? Don't you want to look fabulous? There's layers of fat stored in your body, in the thighs, arms and every which way. Get rid of them. Have you forgotten how?
People. We are all naturally born athletes. Stand up. Be counted. Get rid of the fat and look absolutely FAB!!!!
It hurts the eyes to see fat people trying to walk. Like. Seriously. Waddle. Waddle. Why waddle when you can RUN!

TIme to roll the dice

2011-10-21T04:19:00.000+11:00

And I went through hell and back and saw with my own two eyes, listened with my own two ears.
Verily in this time and age, the women are dressed but as if they are naked. They love to partake of flesh from their sisters. They have an unending hunger to eat. Eat. Eat. Eat.
Gossip. and Kill. Using every which mental torture possible until the life is sucked away from the body. No spirit. No will. Astaghfirullah al azeem! Lord have mercy! Lord have mercy! Lord have mercy from above!!!
Allah, I will be your general. And I am your horn of valor. For he who sounds it does not think of glory but only of SALVATION.
Time to roll the dice.
Bloody Syai'tan!!!! I will go to the ends of the Earth to bring you down!
As you command. So shall I obey.
So shall I obey!!!

Wallahi!

To the person who never stopped loving me

2011-10-20T02:27:00.000+11:00

Ya Abi
Why struggle in this worldly affair when success is already at your feet?
The lifelong battle to fend for your family
The unyielding thirst to achieve success
The determination to face a lot of the challenges
Ya Abi
I cry to look at your beloved face
For loving me without bounds
Ya Abi
You are tremendously loved
You are tremendously loved
And I say again
You are tremendously loved
Assalamualaikum
Sawfa Uhabak Daiman
Ya Abi
:')

Ummi you are absolutely beautiful

2011-10-19T07:36:00.000+11:00

My beautiful ummi
Whenever I look at your face, I see an overwhelming light that only serves to enhance your natural beauty
My ummi is most beautiful in form, figure and akhlaak
Every word that comes out of your mouth seems like pearls of wisdom
Ummi, you are so beautiful
I always wonder, your face which is full of light. From where does it emanate?
Ummi, please know that I love you dearly
Ummi, I may not express myself clearly
But my undying gratitude to you
Ummi, no other mother can rival your inner or outer beauty.
You're my number one
Ummi, Allah repay all your kindnesses to me
You have been my unyielding pillar of strength through everything I've gone through...
Ya Ummi
Allah bless you and grant you the highest place in Jannah.
Love

Envy

2011-10-18T07:13:00.001+11:00

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, The Most Kind

"I seek refuge in the Lord of daybreak
From the evil of that which He created
And from the evil of darkness when it settles
And from the evil of the blowers in knots
And from the evil of an envier when he envies"

For surely the hasad that has descended upon me is such that I fear to contemplate. It is everywhere. In everything. It is the force that is constantly hating. hating. hating. and hurting. hurting. hurting. Endlessly consuming. Unwilling to let go. But willing to see me fall from grace time and time again with a will that is so strong as to be coming from Iblees himself. A'udhubillahiminasyaitanirrajim. I seek refuge in my Lord from the outcast Satan. For surely this hasad is an endless repeating cycle that eats at the good thoughts of every human being. Creating doubt. Dragging us into darkness where there was light. And surely Satan, the chief deceiver is already damned to hell. There ain't no way I'm letting you drag me in with you! You can crash and burn for all eternity without adding more fuel to the fire!
And Satan is our worst enemy. They will lead us astray so that we neglect our duties as Muslims. We get lost in the wonders of this world. Until we forget our true purpose. To return to Jannat. Our original abode. In which Satan will forever be the OUTCAST due to his insolence and arrogance towards our father, Adam. Don't let this evil dude deceive you. He's bad ass at tricking you into doing bad things. And on the Day of Judgement. The people who followed Taghut (opposite to Light) will blame everything on Satan. But Satan will say, 'I fear Allah' and he will not help you one bit. Damn you satan. I hate your butt ugly face. Go rot in hell.

Holding court with the Almighty

2011-10-18T06:39:00.000+11:00

Allah reclines on His throne. His Great Majesty. All seeing, All knowing.
His beauty cannot be comprehended by mere mortals, even the great mountain crumbled into dust when Moses asked to see His Glory but one thing was promised for His slaves who enjoin good and forbid evil: to gaze upon His countenance on the Day of Judgement. We cannot even imagine the rapture that would result.
To be with the Most Beautiful, the One Who created us? Who created this beautiful Earth? Gaze at the sprawling splendor of the green hills and trees, the bubbling creek and hewn stone and you will comprehend the Might of the One who Created these since the beginning of Time.
Listen to the animals who glorify Him in the early dawn. Revel in the differences of our skin color, language and culture. Do you not then see? The One who created you and me?
And I. I bow down in submission. As my forehead kisses the ground. I acknowledge Your Might over all things: Allah is Great! He is Greater than this earthly life. Greater than all our menial tasks from day to day. Greater than you or me. Allah is Greater. Akbar!
I submit ya Allah. To your commands as my Creator. For the magnificent rewards are beyond this earthly place. And as you have promised: fadkhuli fi 'ibadi, wadkhuli jannati
'Enter you, then, among My honored slaves, And enter you My Paradise!'
As you command ya Allah, so shall I obey.
Make my path to your Jannat easier. For that one day I may be among the company of the Soleehin. Saiyidina Abu Bakr As-Siddiq, Saiyidina Umar, Sayidina Uthman and Saiyidina Ali. And foremost of all, your beloved, the light of mankind; Muhammad (all peace and blessings be upon him)
Ameen ya Rabbal 'alaameen

Presentation tips

2011-10-17T20:39:00.000+11:00

Recite
O my Lord! expand me my breast; Ease my task for me; And remove the impediment from my speech, So they may understand what I say
[20:25-28]

Practice makes perfect!

Daily practice

2011-10-17T20:22:00.002+11:00

Whenever doubt strikes you, or you want to do something evil, recite 'I seek refuge in Allah from the outcast Syaitan' -

Begin everyday in the name of Allah. 'Bismillah'

Always stay in a state of wudhu' through-out the day. This will boost our daily productivity significantly.

'It is a matter of shame that the birds are always up earlier than you'

Make the most of the mornings after Subuh.

The Dhuha prayer also increases productivity during the day (2 rakaat in the time after sunrise up to 11 am)

When in need, always perform the hajat prayer to ask Allah for help and ease our way

Surah al-insyirah: makes every undertaking easier

Fasting every Monday and Thursday after the Prophet Muhammad's tradition: ensures a balanced diet.

stitch by stitch

2011-10-17T07:26:00.000+11:00

Strung up by the guts. No quarter. No mercy. Left to dangle helplessly. Poked and prodded with a million jabs. Where there was no boundary, limits suddenly appeared. Doubts manifested. Voices constantly haranguing. Hated. Hated. Hated. I didn't understand. Was the whole thing real? Sometimes it seemed like a dream where I couldn't wake up from. Every time I slept, I woke up to another nightmare. A nightmare where evil ruled the world. And no one could save me. Except God. The scars run deep. Too deep in fact. I long to be rid of them. And be free from this box. Someone threw me in. Locked away the key. I'm hurling my body at the gates. But everyone cackles loudly. No one wants to help. Every one tries their best to bring me down. Voices. Whispering. Prodding. And for the first time I felt fear. Fear of showing myself. Coz if I did, the pain was too excruciating. I was lost. Underneath my skin. In my thoughts. They constantly haunt me. I came out weak and bedraggled. Hated. Hated. Hated. I don't understand. Please. help.me. I used to be loved and cherished. I used to be happy. I used to be free. Now I'm a prisoner in my own body. Afraid to show myself because the pain was too excruciating. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. I am unmended. I don't want to lose myself. Please. I don't understand what's happening. Why did it happen to me? I'm running away as fast as I can, but the darkness seeks to engulf me. It follows me wherever I go. It keeps hating. hating. hating. I don't want to go back to that place. I don't want to. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts.

it hurts...

2 exams, an interview and a presentation

2011-10-16T21:31:00.001+11:00

Most pressing issue:
OVD interview and journal write up.
Interviewer: Dave Heart and Paul Furness
My area of specialization: Seakeeping, RnP, Machinery Systems, DnV structures, Engine selection,
Ben: Rhino model, structures, weight estimate, Energy effy calcs, hull form, machinery systems
James: similar vessel studies, DnV structures
Troy: GA, Hydrostatics, Multiframe

The brainless ninny moment

2011-10-16T21:20:00.001+11:00

I have a serious crush on this guy. Of course I won't tell you who he is. Coz it'd be really embarrassing if he found out! And, why'd he want anything to do with me anyway? Vexing.

Anyways. I noticed this guy when I was grouped with him sometime last year (I think). I instantly disliked him coz he didn't even want to speak to me!!! (I was suitably offended. I mean, not even say a word?? What the hell man?)

This year, this guy was in my class. I noticed he was in my other class before. He's a senior who didn't pass some of his units. So my first impression was: must be one of the surfer dudes. too busy surfing until they forget about getting their degree! (and is he even smart? could he be 'stupid'?) probably.. so yeah. I had a really low opinion of him in the first place.

So it was by cosmic coincidence that I got to be friends with this guy. He turned out to be really, really friendly. Very, very nice and very polite. So, my first impression was kind of washed away but not the 'stupid' part though. Then, when it came to explaining some technical details for ship design, it turned out that he knew a whole lot more than the average person a.k.a. moi.. and I was like... where the hell did that come from. How'd he know so much anyway? Why can't I understand these things like he does? You're supposed to be stupid. Or. Wait a sec. So. okay. You're street savvy. Whatever.

Okay. just to keep it short. And avoid harping about things for too long, why'd I suddenly notice him:
1. He'd always stand up to that negative jack a$$ in class. And call him Mr negative. *and I'd be like, yeah in your face, you mr doom and gloom and cocky sonofabitch!*

2. He helped me a lot with CFD. I ripped off some of his ideas. But I got better marks in the end. It makes sense since his english is terrible!!! can't understand half of what he writes!!!

3. He explains all the stuff he'd done carefully whenever I ask. Which is sharing information. Which I really appreciate

4. He got curious when I excused myself to pray. And. asked why he never saw me pray before. FTW! First time some guy asked me that question. I tell you, shocking!!

5. When I was eating my salmon sandwich, he offered to buy fresh salmon somewhere in God knows where in Tassie. and I said I only liked smoked salmon. And he said, there's plenty of smoked salmon over there. And I was like, 'what the hell's your problem man? Let go of it already! Don't you have a girlfriend already??'

6. Asked me if I'd go to dinner with all the guys in class to which I said no. And called the restaurant 3 freaking times just to get a vegetarian menu up and ready. And I'm like, 'you gotta be kidding me, how many times could you get their phone number wrong? Your macho-ness just dropped down 3 notches! jajajaja'

7. When I didn't go, called me up to ask why???!!!! seriously???!! This got me really confused coz I'm sure he said he was moving into a house with his girlfriend up in Perth somewhere. So just stop it with all these games. Probably he's just a really nice guy. Right? yeah... whatever

8. I've run out of the number of times he's been nice to me. But yeah. He is the nicest guy I've ever met apart from my close friends of course.

But anyways, its just a crush. Will go away in time. Gotta get back to finishing my slides and presentation! Gotta meet Neil for a practice run!
p/s: I hate sounding like a brainless ninny. totally downgrades my credibility. just saying. there's not too many nice guys out there you know.

I wish I could save you too

2011-10-16T20:20:00.002+11:00

What happens if you fell for a non-muslim, (really good looking), white guy?
In my case, I can't do anything since my religion says to NOT marry disbelieving men.
Hmm... Unless the dude (by some unknown miracle) decided to revert to Islam? What then?
This topic is one hot issue that I've talked about with my girlfriends...
I remember Khira saying, "Wouldn't it be great if he was a revert?"
And I'd nod and say, "Hell, yeah!"... haha
Reasons you ask?

1. If you reverted to Islam, it'd be like all your previous sins were washed away.. as if you'd been re-born.. pure and innocent. No sins at all! I'd be jealous. To attain that level, we'd have to go to Hajj (our Mekkah pilgrimage) and perform Hajj Mabrur (The highest level of Pilgrimage). Who wouldn't want that kind of reward?

2. The husband is always the leader in the Muslim family. It's his job to take care of his wife, be it spiritually or physically or what have you. If he hasn't got any religious knowledge, how could he guide his wife, let alone himself? (but point no. 1 kinda gets him a level above the wife in certain cases)

3. In most cases, the Muslim revert will always appreciate Islam even more than people who have been born to Islam. Because all his life, he's been searching for something that was lost in his soul... something that only Allah could fill... Allah's noor (light).. and once he's attained that pure, sweet feeling, he'd never let it go.. for what is life's meaning without Our Lord who created us only to worship Him? In this sense, the Muslim revert has stronger Imaan (faith) than the average Muslim as he appreciates this gift from Allah more than the Muslims who've taken it for granted..I can name a whole raft of people who've reverted... Yusuf Islam (Cat Stevens), Yusuf Estes (former Catholic preacher), Dawud Wharnsby Ali and the list goes on... Each and everyone of them are prominent Islamic figures who love this Deen (way of life) very, very much.

4. A muslim and a non-muslim are literally worlds apart. Our Quran, (Allah's word and guiding light sent to Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him in the form of revelations and later bound into a book) sets outs the proper guidelines of how to behave in every aspect of life; EVERYTHING is covered in this Quran. Etiquette: toilet breaks, eating, praying, how to treat our parents, business transactions, practically anything you can think of is covered. And if certain sections are unclear, the correct way to behave is embodied by our beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). He is the best husband, the best father, the best leader, the best orator and has the best of akhlaak (mannerism). And he has been sent down to mankind only to correct their ways and be the perfect example to us all. Whenever in doubt, we will always return to his Sunnah (traditions) as this will clarify any ambiguity found in the Quran.

5. Reverting to Islam will take time and effort but it will come naturally as it is the true way of life. It is how humans, slaves to Allah are made. If ever we go against His word, something will always feel wrong, as if life has no meaning and it's empty without purpose. And believe me, Allah will always make easier the path for a new revert and all praises to Him, one thing I love most about reverts are their Arabic pronunciations. Simply perfect! (except for Yusuf Estes.. who by some reason unknown to all, still retains his Texan slang when he reads the verses of Allah... but the amount of people who have flocked to this Deen due to his word alone is simply magnificent.. Allah bless him)

6. Islam is beautiful. It is not only a religion. It is a way of life that is syumul (complete and perfect in every aspect). Going against Islam is like going against our own nature. When everything we do is with Allah in our lives, everything will be complete. One of the most important pillars in Islam, the prayer or salat is the back-bone in the Muslim's life. It is said that praying 5 times a day washes away all the sins that we have done during that time. Similar to bathing in a river 5 times a day to wash away the dirt and grime of this world whilst remembering that the true purpose of our lives is to submit to Him, the Almighty Allah and to return to our true destination in the akheerah (after-life), where we are truly meant to be, in His jannat (paradise). For the life and glamour of this world is only a passing entertainment that, compared to the here-after is just the space of the blink of an eye. Imagine being thrown into hell-fire for all eternity where a year is longer than a thousand years on this Earth? And every day, the body is tortured with the most painful torture imaginable, the skin is flayed from the back until the flesh is clearly seen and this is burnt until it melts off the bone. And the gatekeepers of Hell, the most fierce and intimidating angels, will ask "Has no messenger come to you?" and the disbelievers will say "verily, we have had a messenger come to us. but we did nothing but mock him. And if we were able to go back to Earth, we would surely have followed his message". And the angels would flay the skins off their back with no mercy. Hand them the worst smelling pus to drink and nettles that burn the throat when he eats it. After their skin has melted off, Allah will command the skin to grow once again. And thus, the torturous cycle repeats for a span 1000 years on this Earth!!!! The worst thing is for the disbelievers, there will be no chance for them to enter Allah's paradise as they have had no faith and they'll forever be in Hell. But some who have even a shred of faith, at the end of their sentence, will be able to enter His Jannat.

7. Well, this is just a random fancy but I think it would be simply perfect if I had a husband whose not only beautiful outside but inside and above all, could guide me to become a better muslimah. The added bonus would be we'd speak my favorite language (in case you haven't noticed, I converse with myself in this language) and I'd be able to express myself without having to pick my words carefully everytime I try to speak in my Malay language. I've always found it kind of special to speak with close friends in my own, personal, natural way. It's so liberating :)

Anyways, this is a random post, probably it will have some kind of meaning to someone out there.

Jet Li for Adidas!

2011-10-11T22:07:00.002+11:00

One of my favorite role models. Scratch that, my favorite role model's all for Adidas, my absolute FAVORITE brand!!! holla!!! check him on Jet Li's looking cute

Aah Jet Li.
His real name's Li Lian Jie. He won the world wushu championships when he was really young and gained superstardom after being hired to act in Shaolin Temple when he retired from the sport at 17.
Imagine how young he was then!

Why'd Jet Li suddenly pop to mind? Well, it's coz I've got too much free time on my hands that's what and I'm starting to look forward to watching movies. And, my favorites are Chinese kung fu movies where the main actor is: guess who?

It's funny how I've got him bookmarked in my blog list but I've never really visited more than once or twice. Probably coz his page is in Chinese (but it's changed to English now. FTW!) I have a lot of respect for this guy. Firstly, he's one of the most awesome martial artists on earth. And second, he's quite a religious dude. I mean, think about it, has he ever had a smooching scene in any of his movies? Has he? Nope. Nada. Not Jet Li. That puts him at the top in my books as far as HK film actors go. The most wonderful thing is Jet stands by his principles. Even if he always acts as the hero who pounds the bad guys into submission on the big screen, in real life, he says to leave violence as the last act when nothing else works. See how cool he is? Such a devout Buddhist! Looking at his page, he's founded so many charities to help the less fortunate. I know, every actor does that. But Jet's so different.
He's always smiling. I think the character that he plays are all extensions of his real self: honorable, fair, funny and pleasant. Am I starting to sound like a besotted fan girl here? Well excuse me. I just admire him. A lot.

So there was this one time when The Star newspaper organized a competition to win tickets to see The Warlords: read: Takeshi Kaneshiro, Andy Lau and Jet Li all in one movie! Are you freaking kidding me??? *hyperventilate*. So, when no one else was looking, I secretly wrote some catchy words to describe why I wanted to watch this movie so much. I think if I dig up the e-mail, I'd be able to re-write what I said last time. Apparently, The Star loved it so much that I was named the Grand Prize winner! *This is my super excited face interjecting here* Honestly, I thought I wouldn't even win. The least I'd hoped for were the free tickets *shiny Shin Chan eyes*
And whaddya know? I won a free t-shirt, free cap, FOUR free tickets and a sticker (?) It's been so long that I don't really remember what else I got from them. At first mom was reluctant to let me go claim the prize at The Star HQ. But I managed to convince dad to send me. Hehe
So yeah, out of all the Chinese people filling the cinema, there were suddenly 4 muslim malay girls amidst them. (Yeah, I brought my sisters along). My baby bros really wanted to tag along but no. Seniority always wins in our family. So the bottom feeders will (always) have to make way for the people on top. Sorry guys! *snickers* I don't know whether it's because I got myself and all my sisters in for free or was it because the HK heavyweights were awesome on screen together. In the end, what really mattered was the movie was AWESOME. I think I did write about this before. I seem to get a sense of deja vu. Nah. Probably not.

So yeah, this is just one example of how much I love Jet Li movies. Below are other examples:

Bought a whole bunch of Jet Li movies (DVDs): Tai Chi Master, Fong Sai Yuk I & II, My Father is a Hero, Once Upon a Time in China and... (I forgot all the other titles). If I still had them with me and if that freaking thief hadn't broken into our house and ransacked them all (they weren't even opened yet!!!!!), I would not be mourning my loss right now. I still feel it. A piercing, deep sense of loss (way to go on the play on words Maryam, but seriously I do). Coz they were really old movies and very, very hard to find. Curse you, you damn thief!
Get into Speedy or any other DVD selling stores and the first aisle I go is to the Chinese movies. So far, I've re-bought Fong Sai Yuk I and II. I still need to find Tai Chi master though... again, I hope that thief got his arm cut off somewhere along the way. Oh, and before coming back here, I bought My father is a hero!!! It's sitting safely back at home (I hope). I thought Anita Mui was awesome in this one. and the soundtrack too. and of course the little boy. Kinda like Jet Li's protege
Coming here, I enrolled in Shaolin Kung Fu. The shifu was actually trained under Jet Li's master (very false understated calmness here. when he actually told us. I was literally wide eyed like changed into Shin Chan or something) And he said he's actually an accomplished, trained Shaolin monk. I consider it one of my greatest achievements when he said my earth fist (one of Jet Li's moves) was beyond! His exact words (coz it has been stored safely in my memory) was: and did you see Maryam? Wow! You were really into it! Bravo! That's what happens when you're in the zone. (well, not exactly his words, I'm not a robot..but something along those lines). That was during grading. And to me, kung fu is the best martial arts I've tried. EVER. The concept is to coil one's energy in and let it out. Everything starts from a coiling motion. The move that got to me the most is the punches. Instead of pulling it in and punching like most martial arts, you'd have to twist the fist along the way. To gain momentum and more power. And it looks absolutely beautiful. I did learn the first step to becoming an initiate but I haven't practiced it since forever so I don't really remember. What I do remember is, I finally got some of Jet Li's moves!!!!!!!!!! the one where he killed the big bad boss in Last Hero in China (double fists, angled body, and wham!) was the move I got praised for by my shifu. Ehhem ehhem.
I got into Wing Chun the other day (this is because Donnie Yen was too awesome in Ip Man with his dummy thing). They had the same principles. But they're punches were so hard to grasp! Extend from the elbow, and this is where they become jabs. Quick repetitive jabs. What attracted me the most to Wing Chun is coz the most famous practitioner is a woman. Their principle of sticking hands is too awesome. As demonstrated by the ever stone faced dead pan Donnie Yen. But to tell you the truth, his moves are BEYOND. To get your punches right, you'd have to be a martial arts expert like him.
Okay this is my last dot point: when I saw Jet Li in Fearless, he looked way old from when he acted as Fong Sai Yuk. It breaks my heart. He'll get old and die eventually. Sobs.

Jet Li's doing another movie: the sorcerer and the white snake and it looks good. but the graphics look corny compared to the awesome storm warriors. oh and he's collaborating with Tsui Hark (read: AWESOME-ness doesn't begin to describe it) for the first time in 14 years. Movie looks FTW!

Anyhow. That'll be the first movie on my list. Can't wait to watch it! Did I tell you this is week 104? And my last week of all the 8 semesters I've had here at the AMC? Insha Allah... just keep pushing onwards.

Jet Li said "nothing can change the way you are, unless you rise above yourself and keep moving forward"

I'm still chasing after that elusive black belt. Probably when I get back. Definitely. Something to look forward to!

Vigorous when facing the beatings of ten thousands of heavy waves

Ardent just like the rays of the sun

Having courage like forged iron

and bones as hard as refined as steel

Having lofty aspirations and excellent foresight

I worked extremely hard,

aspiring to be a strong and courageous hero

In order to become a hero

One should strive to become stronger everyday

An ardent man shines brighter than the sun

-George Lam , the opening of Once Upon a Time in China-

O. to the V. to the D.

2011-10-08T10:16:00.000+11:00

I think our slides were the simplest, most chic and minimalist modern out of all the presenters yesterday. It's so us and what our catamaran represents. And it did help that our renders were simply AWESOME.

The only other group that was really good were the submarine guys. They did a really, really great job considering no one had ever had to design subs in previous years. And no wonder Damien's secured his job at the ASC --> read, Australian Submarine Corporation. How cool is that? I reckon it was Kim who did all the mind blowing renders. And Jay explaining the trim polygon? Nice job man. Respect!

A few of the guys had trouble with Jason's mouse. LOL! And no one was using any pointers! I think his group had the best slides too. but the content was so boring. You know how it is with all this military stuff. Their renders I think Joe worked on. They were really good. Liked Dean's laid-back style of presenting :)

Okay content wise- The superyacht group practically bombarded us with a ton of information but in a really entertaining way. Most entertaining but their slides were kinda comical which they wanted it to be. And I really envy them for handing in their yacht assignment on time since, unlike us, they got the structures figured out since way back when.

Did I leave anyone out? oh the landing barge? No comment. Seriously their slides were bordering on too simple. All of them did a good job though. I didn't get to see Richard and Hamish present their fishing trawler..coz we've been doing that every year. And we were busy practicing our final run. oh did I tell you we were the only group to suit up!? Like a boss. Austal represent!

Breaking it down:
Ben was in charge of hull-forms, the Rhino model and hence the weight estimate generation
Troy did all the hydrostatics and damage cases, extracted the 2D model layout from Rhino into AutoCAD to do the General Arrangement and general project planning
I did similar vessel studies, structural calcs to DNV and Excel spread sheet generation shared with James. The green research, Engine selections, some of the IMO Green passport stuff, schematics.
Outboard profile which is still on going. And Seakeeping.
James was the Excel guru. Rudder and manoeuvring calcs.

On to the Final Report and tearing the report to bits. Yeah. Can't wait. It's called sarcasm. Deal with it.

Boom baby!

TIme to let go of my baby

2011-10-08T09:33:00.000+11:00

Did I tell you bout the Mini Transat I had to do at the beginning of the semester? Of course I did.
Here's how it looks now:

I got a really good mark for my concept design and I'm really proud! Did help to have all the samples from my senior's assignments. My cute mini transat.. I was hoping to score another distinction for the next assignment; but the structural calcs proved to be a bit harder than I expected and what with OVD presentations happening... I just didn't have the energy to be constantly hanging out in the labs until 2 am in the morning for every single day of the week. Enough was enough. So I'm handing this baby in on Monday. Have I done anything else for it since OVD yesterday? NO. Are you kidding me? Girl needs some rest yo! There's all my structural calculations (actually it's Excel that did all of the number crunching) and refined drawings to hand in. Gotta catch up with my mates. Time to hang out in the labs once more. And I. I have no life. outside of my pursuit of knowledge.

My soul sister

2011-10-08T09:02:00.001+11:00

Let's go back to first year. We'd just arrived in Launceston. Seeing all these white people got me so insecure that I'd get tongue tied just trying to talk back to them. And I LOVED their accents. So different from the British and American slangs! There was a free barbeque happening at the courtyard beside the UTAS cafeteria. Of course, me and Din, being Malaysians! We're all for anything free. Especially if it's food! haha... We were hurrying over to see the live band playing and people sprawled on the green lawn. I noticed there was this girl walking behind us. She seemed hesitant to approach us. I noticed she was the only other girl in my engineering class. I was like 'she's all alone' turned around and then I blurted 'Hey, you're doing engineering too right?' and she instantly smiled and said, 'yeah'

That's when I first met Yasmine.

I discovered that she was an 'islander' from Vanuatu. She looked so... Malay. No kidding. And the thing that struck me most was how good her English was coz her national language was obviously not English. Oh yeah, this is when me and Din got to know Ho Wan Kim a.k.a. George! Our Korean friend! :) Ever since this fateful meeting, we'd been fast friends ever since. Me and Yasmine: inseparable!

To cut 2 years short, we moved out together with Khira and Camelia. Out in Mowbray. The thing about Yasmine is, she'd do whatever I did. I was never conscious about it. Like. When I'd buy a bike. She'd find herself one too. And whenever I found some good TV series to watch. She'd instantly get it. When no one else would. We'd be laughing our heads off at every funny reference in the IT crowd. 'Help! I'm disabled!' That was our running joke for practically the whole year. We'd always have this inside joke stemming from either IT crowd, Fringe or whichever series we decided to watch. After every stressful exam, we'd go to Pizza Hut to celebrate with a whole box of pizza. One for her, one for me.

I still remember how we'd be late coming back from the labs in the middle of the night. And she'd be that presence calmly riding her bike beside me. We'd be laughing or some such and she'd cycle so fast towards the end. and secretly I'd always think how on earth does she always beat me to the gates since my bike was obviously better than hers! So it's obviously the cyclist a.k.a. moi. It's funny how I think I'm faster than the average pedestrian but when it comes to another cyclist, I'd get beat. Talk about a blow to the ego. And then I'd confront her about leaving me behind and she'd say it's coz she's wearing shorts and her legs are freezing. So she needs to get back home really fast. And I'd be 'fair enough'. Yasmine and her shorts! haha.. so island la you!

Bit by bit, I got to know that Yasmine LOVED raggae. She could speak fluently in French!!! and she is an absolute CLEAN FREAK. and she is probably the most humble person I know. When she tells me that she was one of the two girls in her country that got a scholarship to study Engineering at AMC, I was like FTW! and she'd get embarrassed and not make a big deal about it. This is so opposite to me. I must admit that I appreciate what God has given me and it is something that we should be rightfully be proud of but of course not bordering on boasting-laaa

Okay. What's my most favorite memory of her? It's gotta be her infectious laugh. Especially when she starts to seriously laugh her head off at me and I'd get really pissed off. She'd laugh even harder and sometimes bend her knees coz she can't help it. Haha.. ohh Yasmine.. the dude. :')

I remember in first year, we'd compare the units we'd be taking for the next 3 years and I'd tell her how hard her subjects looked like. She'd be nodding and be so jealous of me. And now fast forward to the 3 years. The table's been turned. My units proved to be tougher than hers. ALL. OF. THEM. And we'd go 'remember in first year?' Who would've known right. That time, we were so in awe of our seniors who'd made it so far. and then there was OVD. The final year presentation for the Naval Architecture students in front of a huge crowd. Presenting such stuff as structures, seakeeping, resistance and propulsion, hydrostatics and everything that was so overwhelming to me at the time. I was practically shaking in my 'boots' that's how scared I was of the thought of arriving in final year and having to do OVD and present.

Last year, we were already in 3rd year. We went to OVD again. And Yasmine was giving me the look. And saying oooh...dude... can't wait to watch you next year! Then she'd smile her cat smile. And then I'd shut her up with a punch to her arm. Though technically, she'd laugh her head off again.

Yesterday. I presented my project for OVD. and Yasmine WASn't there....

The culmination of our years at AMC. And my best friend, my soul sister, was no where to be seen.

I sent her a text to pray for me. I asked my mom and dad to make du'a for me too. And I'm sure Allah heard their prayers coz we had the best run ever in front of the audience.

Yasmine didn't tell me she had to leave until a week before she had to fly back to Vanuatu. She said she didn't want me to know coz saying goodbye would be so hard. At first I wondered if I was reliving the nightmare I had from the year before where I dreamt she wouldn't be here for final year. It was deja vu. And to tell you the truth, I'd never cried so long and for so many days as I had after Yasmine confirmed that she'd be going back. That's how dear she was to me. She was my anchor, my partner in crime, my sister from another mother. The kindest, most sensitive soul ever. Thank you sis for making my time at AMC the best years of my life. May Allah reunite us again sometime in the future. Coz as I always tell you, you have got to check out my gorgeous husband!!! :')

Some catching up

2011-10-08T08:09:00.000+11:00

I remember when I first started blogging. Main reason why I took it up is coz I like writing. I just can't believe 2011 has so few posts. Even though this year my schedule has more free time slotted into it, the 2 big projects that I had to do this year had occupied me for most of my time. At one point, I even thought of doing away with this blog. But then, yesterday, I opened it up again and surfed through my posts since continuing my studies overseas for the past 3 years. And I'm glad I didn't can my whole blog.
It's really refreshing to read what I'd been doing the past few years from my own perspective. It's akin to my own reflections and seeing that we're left with vague memories of what happened back when as soon as another day arrives, my writings actually served to bring me back to that time and it wonderfully fleshes out those memories even more. Take for example, when I scrolled back to a post a couple of years back. When I read about it again, it's just like I've been transported to that time and place and relive all those feelings again. I suppose, this sums up how valuable my blog is. It's a collection of living memories. And every time I feel like going back in time, I'll just open up my blog.

Ha... the reason why I've got so protective of my blog all of a sudden is coz my classmates discovered my blog!!! The mortification! It's really funny how they were so set on googling it just from a glimpse of my blog title (on tumblr). I quickly closed it when they caught on to my scrolling it from my macbook.
And they had the gall to print off the most recent post on this blog and stick it in the 4th year labs!!! of all things!!! Thank God I checked if they really went with it. But anyways, that was a really good one. Can't help smiling every time I think about it. (doesn't mean I won't kill Troy after this, probably not at school, but in my dreams! lol. just kidding)

Back to the purpose of this post. When I scrolled through the years, I realized that because I haven't been writing anything for the most part of this year, I had missed out on those memories. And I feel so mad at myself for thinking that writing all about it wouldn't be worth it. So I owe it to myself to write about what happened for the first part of the year. And get this: I was set on making this year the best year I'd ever have at AMC. So you see why I'm currently kinda depressed. Coz they'll just turn into vague memories. And I really want some more details to help me remember. Guess I'll start with the first memory that I can think of. It happened at the start of the year. And I think, it's the main reason why I stopped blogging in the first place. At the beginning of the year, I lost a dear, dear friend, very close to my heart. And my next post will be a tribute to how wonderful she was (and still is, she ain't dead yet!)

I survived the 29th of September

2011-09-29T13:48:00.000+10:00

I can finally breathe a huge sigh of relief. I remember looking at my 2011 calendar and counting the days and weeks to this day: Thesis submission, and thinking to myself, how on earth will I manage? Previous published reports on my project is virtually non-existent and must I mention the fact that nobody has ever done this before? It's easy if you've got heaps of senior's reports to fall back on. At least, you'd have a basic idea of what you're supposed to do.
I had to get knee deep in a gazillion papers; all to do with vortex induced vibrations, uniform cylinder, flow visualization and far out geeky stuff. When I first set out, I was so overwhelmed with the literature out there that I had my mind set on changing topics. This topic was too tough. But things didn't go my way and I had to stick with it.
It was a MAJOR undertaking for me. Nothing and I repeat nothing in the 4 years' worth of subjects I'd done has ever come close to being this difficult. All I can say is the learning curve just went from flat to exponential in no time.
From the initial planning to the minute meetings to the one week testing time and finally to results analysis; tying them all together was like trying to climb Mt. Everest without the right gear. HUGE RELIEVED SIGH.
FINALLY. I guess acknowledgements are in order here: Bishop & Hassan your paper was the best. It was surely fate that made your findings so relatable to mine! Gabbai & Benaroya, without your comprehensive review, I'd still be stuck analyzing my results and to my dear pals, Techet et al. I can't remember a single time where I wasn't referring to your paper.
You guys rock! Way to go making a living researching this far-out nerdy stuff. You guys really give meaning to "triumph of the nerds".
It really helped that my co-supervisor gave positive reviews: Nice piece of work, good job, serious and well-rounded thesis
But my main supervisor, he just smiles.
What am I supposed to get out of this??!
... it's gotta have a deeper meaning. One would hope so ey

Man, I am over the moon right now. Allah, thank you for hearing my prayers.

Fate

2011-09-28T09:18:00.002+10:00

I'm not getting any younger. The fact is, I am old. I look around me and all my juniors have either graduated, are working a 9-5 job or are graduating and then I look at myself: still studying! holla!
I get even more depressed when I visit my friends virtually i.e. troll their fb pages. One's engaged, four of them got married this year. One last year. Some of them are pregnant and waiting to give birth. Another just got a baby. The first one to get married is toting his baby around. My best friend from kindy just got married a week ago! And if they're not married, they'd be busy with their jobs and hanging out with colleagues, most of them are just waiting to get hitched anyway. Of course they'd have someone special already in their lives. It's what's expected of them at this age.
And I'm like... yeah. Enough said. It's like time just forgot to include me for some reason. So today, I feel a marriage post coming up. It's so appropriate! hehe

It's a good thing that my blog has so few followers. So I can blog about whatever the hell I want without any serious repercussions. FTW! So if my post is all about marriage, it must mean a special someone, right? I mean, you can't get married to yourself d'oh (this excludes the crazy cheerleader coach from Glee)

Right. Here goes. I think in order to love someone, you have to love yourself first and this is impossible to do if you don't appreciate yourself or worse, you have no sense of identity. Because you see, if you start a relationship with someone, it has to have MEANING. If you're filled with insecurities about how you look and how you feel about yourself, you'd be searching for someone who can make you feel secure by telling you nice things about yourself, and in the end he will dictate your sense of self. Coz girl, you ain't had any in the first place! I tell you, the most annoying thing I've come across with girls my age is the way they let their so called boyfriends run their life: oh, my bf doesn't want me to wear this! Oh my bf wants me to eat this! oh, my bf says I look great wearing this! For the Love of God! They all seem like a brainless bunch of ninnies who can't think for themselves! I could seriously tear my hair out if I stay in the same room with them. Like. Seriously.

This boyfriend topic always gets on my nerves. Girls will be girls. Boys will be boys. If a girl likes a boy and the boy likes the girl, they go out on dates. They become a couple. Everyone's happy. Everyone gushes with unbridled joy. And then there's me. I troll this photo of a gal pal who's smiling from ear to ear with her cheek squashed to her boyfriend's. I click on another photo of her hand atop the bf's hand with their couple ring. and then of them in a car together, driving to God knows where. And I think to myself: that can't be right. Since when was it permissible for girls to hold a boy's hand? Since freaking when??
Since when was it permissible for girls to go out with boys in car rides across the country? Since freaking when??
God damn it, is it written in the Loh al Mahfuz that your bf will be your husband? Is it certain that you will get married? Then what in heaven's name are you doing? Prancing around with a stranger, a man at that, halfway across the country, in his car? Astaghfirullah al azeem. May the Lord have mercy on us all. To think that this day would come. When the society is indifferent to all this. and the mothers and fathers are okay with their daughters behaving this way. Lord have mercy.

And so. I come to this confession. I have never had any interest in having a boyfriend and so I have never been in a relationship. Is this strange to you? You damn straight it is! But I don't care for the doings of society that brings them near to the wrath of Allah. For to me, it is pleasing Him that matters, not the society! I stand by my decision and I will obey His word when He says: "Do not come near to Zina. For surely it is a despicable thing". Yes. it. is. despicable. Love outside of marriage. Imagine countless love stories? Imagine that? How on earth will you savor the moment when you finally get married with all those haunting memories of the ones you loved in your past? I just don't get it.

And I still don't get it. How everyone's okay with this boyfriend issue. How everyone's been brainwashed into thinking it's a permissible part of MUSLIM society. After all, without a boyfriend, how will you get married? Right?
Pfft... spare me your nincompoop theories. Too many times I've seen someone going out with their bf for years and when it comes to marriage they end up with a completely, totally different person. So don't be a hypocrite and tell me boyfriends prepare you for the person you'll marry. Bull freaking shit.

So naturally you can see how much this topic means to me. Allah has decreed He has created everything in pairs. One fore you. One for me. I wonder if mine has actually been run over by a truck or something. For surely, in this day and age, it's nigh impossible to find someone whose NEVER had a girlfriend before, has NEVER gone on dates, he's averse to even touching a girl's hand, ALWAYS prays his 5 daily prayers, does NOT mix freely with girls, IS good looking (had to put that in!) and the list goes on. This species is extinct. For all I know my other half really was involved in a hit and run and is already six foot under. Boo hoo... I've always got my cats to fall back on. haha.

And that concludes my topic on marriage. If you're out there Mr Good Looking, don't forget to drop me a line. Assuming I'll even read it!
Oh oh... and I think this is a fitting line for us to ponder, for all those single ladies out there:
"The better person you become, the better people you attract." So focus on becoming better and Allah willing, we will attract the right kind of person =]

Just writing You a love letter

2011-09-28T08:05:00.001+10:00

I just feel like writing today.
Oh. I just realized the toolbar layout for blogger has changed. FTW! How long have I been away?
I guess Tumblr's too much fun compared to this site. haha

The topic for today is: random.
I'll write as the idea strikes me.

Malay bloggers
I was blogwalking yesterday. Found some really interesting blogs. I really liked this guy's writing style. He's a regular columnist in Sinar Harian. He writes at MaafCakap. I found his musings vastly intriguing add to the fact that he writes in Malay and his words are so structured and beautiful. Well, of course you'd expect that from an article columnist right. I guess what I'm trying to get at is it's been ages since I came across a good piece of writing in my own tongue plus he's got some good religious perspective on everyday life. That's made me an instant follower! I wonder what Sinar Harian is though. I've never heard of this paper before. Aaah Malaysia, how I miss you.
So after I was done reading his posts, I trolled the other blogs he followed: this blog was the exact opposite of his: EVERYTHING was in English! I had to salute the guy for good, tolerable grammar. Even his posts had a distinctly religious feel about it plus he was a fellow cyclist! Usually, I'd cringe at every single grammar mistake people make when writing in English (as if I'm that perfect ey?) lol. but seriously. It does gets on my nerves sometimes. However, this guy did not evoke that many cringes. So I was happy.

The last blog I trolled was called Engineering Minds. That made me curious. I scrolled through the guy's post and discovered that he's studying in UTP trying to get his Engineering degree and he's moaning about how bad working life is compared to student life. That brought me back to my internship days. I could totally relate! Being stuck in the office for 8 hours is just a special kind of torture that's an adult exclusive. Since I was getting depressed from his posts, I left and walked elsewhere. All that blog hopping made me realize there aren't that many guys who write about how they feel and etc. i.e. blog. Most bloggers are gals.
I guess it's logical since women like to express themselves through writing and it does help that we're good at it. But when it comes to the guys, they almost always have a point to say. There's always an underlying theme to their writings. And from these, we can actually differentiate between the minds of women and men.
Okay. I'm getting too philosophical here. I just find it interesting that the way we think can be so different. Let's just leave it at that.

Supervisors
Every time I say supervisor or s/v for short, I get that weird kind of 'superior than thou' chill. The fact that you have an s/v shows that you're actually close to finishing your degree, you're undertaking a huge project on your own where nothing is given to you. Just hints here and there whether you're on the right path or not. Speaking of which, my undergraduate thesis will be due by 4pm tomorrow. I'm planning on printing the required two copies by today so I can concentrate on other stuff. All I can say at this moment is: Praise Allah for His helping me through it all. There were times I thought I seriously could not finish. I thought of giving up. I thought of all sorts of possibilities; very few of them were positive. However, my mind kept replaying that year, where, for the first time, I was struggling to pass a subject. All I could do was invest my effort into the one final exam. I was at the end of my tether. Nothing could help me. Except the grace of Allah. So I prayed to Him. I asked for His help. I told him of my woes. I told Him how scared I was. I told Him, I had to get through. Just please, show me a way. Help me. At the same time, I felt something tell me, I must DO something. So I went and asked my seniors to help me with the tougher questions. It was do or die at that point. Every waking moment I spent studying and analysing questions for the coming exam. I had 3 weeks. And at the end, all I remember is Allah was indeed there for me. He listened to my prayers. He watched me when I cried. And most importantly, He granted my du'a. Ever since then, even though I feel something is nigh impossible to achieve, I will always, always remember the time when Allah helped me and then I will say to myself, it's okay Maryam, Allah is there. I have Him. He will show me a way. Even if I can't see it yet. I just put all my trust in Him and ask Him to guide me, guide me, guide me. Wahdini ya Allah!
And Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. I have managed to finish. What I thought was impossible is now possible and it's all because of my Allah and all praise goes to the Lord of the 'Aalamin :')

I guess now you could say this post was just a love letter to my Allah. Thank you for being there for me and make me Your ever grateful slave.

Say hello to Silver Pixiedust

2011-07-31T22:17:00.002+10:00

The reason why I haven't been blogging much is coz I've kinda moved to Tumblr, but not on a permanent basis.
Sometimes I get bored of posting graphics and pictures and quotes and I just feel like good old fashioned writing so baam! I'm back here again in no time. Hence this post.

I wonder what is that X factor that makes people want to follow your blog. I've been blog hopping a lot for the past hour. I've been pondering over these hijabi sisters back in Malaysia who've got a really large fan base and I'm just wondering how they got famous in the first place. Obviously, they've got connections. And obviously some are famous to begin with...but sometimes, it's just they themselves who're just cool. At least, this is what I've figured out after countless pouring over blog posts and stalking this or that hijabi.

Anyways, this brings me to the point of these hijab fashionistas suddenly cropping up like so many flowers in the field. I don't have anything against them. But one thing definitely strikes me; the fact that most of their style icons are Caucasian models or celebrities or some such. And this leads me to think: if you're following someone who is not a hijabi, who clearly dresses stylishly without an Islamic code, then, is it okay??
It's like you are actually copying a non-muslim's style. You get that right?

All the colorful clothes styled together with matching hijab to attract attention or just to be stylish, when the true purpose of hijab is for modesty. To me, moderation is key. Allah is beautiful and He loves beauty.
So it isn't wrong to dress prettily because being women, we love to look lovely. But things get really messed up when you over-do it. Piling up accessories and layers upon layers of clothing. and to top it off, styling the hijab so it looks nice BUT it definitely deviates from the guidelines set by Allah.
For e.g.: styling it turban style and exposing the neck just so that the blouse worn beneath can be seen better.
And then, there's the numerous styles invented by these other fashionistas that are just... there's no other word to it...just WRONG.

Try these scenarios; pairing LEGGINGS with hijab. Skin tight jeans with loose blouse and a 'scarf' to cover only the hair. I could go on. Everytime I look at this or that hijabi's lookbook, so many comments would pop in my head: your scarf doesn't cover your b**bs coz I can see them clearly. Your jeans are too tight coz I can see the shape of your legs. Your skirt is too short and I can see some of your calves. You've got too much make up on. Your pose is definitely tooooo sexy for a hijabi. And in the end, I just get the feeling of raising my arms in frustration and bewilderment. Everything is just so wrong. Is it just me who's realizing this? Why are there girls out there who just follow these styles blindly?

There's nothing wrong in being stylish. If you really want to 'dress-up' and look pretty, make sure Allah approves. It's no use getting tons of approval from the public because the only opinion that matters is Allah's and none other.

4.2

2011-07-31T21:48:00.000+10:00

Tomorrow's officially the 4th week of my LAST semester.
Alhamdulillah for me having made it this far.
So that means I've got 9 weeks to go! and...
tomorrow is also the start of Ramadhan!
Cue the numerous iftars and tarawihs just lining up for this month alone.
Insha Allah He will bless me during this month and make my journey easier. Ya Mujeeb ajeeb du'a ana.

Week 10 is 6 weeks away. This is when my thesis is due.
When you put it in weeks, seems like that's no time at all. Masya Allah...

This semester I've got Yacht design and the 1st assignment's just in. I've chosen to design the Mini Transat Yacht. It's gonna be super fun!!! I just can't wait! But I've yet to make a start! ha!

On the other hand, Marine Machinery Systems is looking to be pretty boring stuff. The whole electrics thing-y is so dry. I find it bearable only because it's got some maths in it. And that I can get my head around. The diesel electric propulsion side of things though, is pretty interesting. Finally I at least know what machine connects to what on board a ship.

And yeah, why on earth is it that a final year student in her final semester still has to take up another 2 subjects??! you ask? How the hell am I supposed to know? You'd think AMC'd be nicer to their students. Have it easy on us coz it's our final year. But no, they have to pile not two but four new subjects that are pretty tough on top of our final year projects and our team design project. Holla! Alhamdulillah I managed to get through the first two: CFD and Advanced Ship Structures. Here's hoping for the same thing for my new ones this sem.

and Insha-Allah, I will get to finish my thesis in this holy month of Ramadhan. Full speed ahead!

The quality of food

2011-06-04T17:29:00.001+10:00

the ghastly vegetarian meals prepared by Saltz cafe is getting even more ghastly.
I know that we are the minority over here, but please. Honestly? even the name of the menu makes me lose my appetite. I'd rather cycle to town and get something to eat. Rather than endure a tasteless meal that can be bought just a pace away.

4.1

2011-06-02T22:26:00.006+10:00

How long has it been? It's like coming back to see that my room has gone all dusty. Oh well, let me open the curtains, let the sunshine in. Time for a little catching up to do!

I'm taking a break from busting my brains out trying to think up related theories to my CFD assignment. Talk about very little theory out there. Was I crazy to choose this topic in the first place? Maybe. But bi ithnillah, I will get through. Just a few more editing here and there and I'll be set for next Monday! :)

Who would've thought I did so well in the 1st assignment? I was so freaking happy I couldn't do anything else that day but go out and celebrate! I mean, c'mon man, this is CFD we're talking about! The most feared and revered subject that we have to take in 4th year! Here's me hoping to God that I could repeat the same feat insha Allah.

Semester one is drawing to a close. But semester break is gonna be as hectic as ever. I've got my model testing due in the 1st week of semester two so the test programme has to be finished way before that!

I feel sleepy and unde-productive. For a wonder, I'm kind of lost for words here! It's been that long since I've exercised my writing muscles. They seem to have shrunk. I'll bulk 'em out again all in due time.

In the meantime, I'll leave you with this beautiful note:

Cooking Rule... If at first you don't succeed, order pizza

2010-12-03T12:32:00.002+11:00

I like watching cooking shows: Jamie Oliver's, Nigella's, Top Chef and every other show out there. What I don't like is dragging my feet to the kitchen.

For some reason, I have absolutely no interest in cooking Malay food. I'm fine with other types of food like Italian, Mediterranean or Western. The bottom line is I hate complicated recipes, and Malay recipes fall into this category.

Some people naturally get how to cook i.e. my other three sisters. It's like, they watch my mom throw in some ingredients in the pan and they immediately have the list seared on their brains for some mysterious reason. If I'm the one beside my mom, I just stare blankly at what she's preparing, I stir the pot when she asks me to, peel the onions till I cry, get out the various spices she asked for but none of the methods stick in my mind. The only thing that I got out after (let's see) close to 20 years helping her out is how to size the serving she's cooked up to the container to serve out later. Pathetic? Tell me about it.

I've gained a reputation as the dish-washer and the clean up lady in the house but not for being a good cook. My littlest sister's awesome at baking. Anything she cooks up tastes even better than my mom's cooking. My big sister's cooking is an exact match of my mom's and the sister below me pretty much follows my big sister's footsteps in that area.

So tell me what in the high heavens happened to me?!

I'm not a big fan of rice, which probably explains my lack of enthusiasm in cooking the various dishes that go with it. Unlike some people (a.k.a. dad) who can't live a second without it.

I LOVE bread. So I'm really good at making sandwiches. If I had all the ingredients Subway had access to, I wager I'd make a meaner sub than they will ever think to do. I totally love tuna and cold cuts. I'm all about FAST food. Something you can whip up in a matter of minutes without having to bust your brains out when it comes to delving out that complicated recipe.

Once in a blue moon, I'd get the urge to cook something and then I'll turn on my boombox and start cookin' but until then, I avoid the kitchen like the plague. (ESPECIALLY when mom's in there)

Referring to Ita's article (Salahkah perempuan xtau masak? - Komen), in our society, women are not really women if they don't know how to cook because that's what makes us what we are. Yeah right. Who says? All the top chefs are guys (hard for me to admit but it's true)

I feel it's so unfair to judge women on the basis of their cooking. It's like this popular Malay saying, if you know how to cook you're ready for marriage.

How depressing. It's not like our husbands will starve if we don't feed them right? Haha.

To me, if a guy really loves his wife, he wouldn't expect her to break her back in the kitchen everyday trying to cook him a meal. Especially if the wife has a career and has been at the office and has had to manage the kids before stepping out to the office as well, which is more than I can say about the husband. He's the one who should be cooking for her! At the least, the task should be equally shared. Today I cook, tomorrow it's your turn.

Now that's fair.

The secularism issue

2010-12-02T16:21:00.004+11:00

Boy do I have a lot of stuff swimming around in my head or not? I've written more posts than I've cared to do in a long time. Anyways, let's get to it!

Secularism. What is it? In my own words and understanding: the separation between religion and other aspects of our everyday life. According to Wikipedia, Secularism is the concept that government or other entities should exist separately from religion and/or religious beliefs. Well, it's the same thing right? Except in their context, it's the government, not the individual.

I see it happening all around me. Lie to yourself all you want. Malaysia might call itself a muslim country but having the majority of the population calling themselves Muslims does not a muslim country itself make. You see, there's a major difference: if we were truly a muslim country, the government should implement muslim laws in EVERY aspect of its governance, not just SOME bits here and there to suit their needs.

The other thing is how the Muslims in our community behave.

How is it that we dare call ourselves Muslim when we don't know the tenth part of our historical background? Or how to conduct ourselves as proper Muslims?

Nowadays, the word is that Muslims are just in name only. The practicing muslims are dwindling in number. How many of us actually pray 5 times a day? Fast during Ramadhan? Go to Hajj? The saddest part is the fact that we think everything religious has to do with the Masjid but when we're in our homes, everything changes. It's like this scenario that baffles other Muslim women out there: why we Malaysians love wearing our 'telekung' and cover ourselves from head to toe when we pray, but afterwards go running off out of the masjid, wearing tight fitting clothes without any hijab on? Isn't this the most blatant piece of hypocrisy that you've ever set your eyes on? In this, the meaning of prayer and what it imparts on us as a Muslim is lost.

I well and truly love all my Muslim sisters. More and more are answering the call to wear hijab and this is such a miracle to behold. However, WHY do wear Hijab in the first place? Is it to fend off unhealthy stares and unwanted groping? Is it to please Allah? Is it to simply fit in with the community and not be shunned at? Is it a tradition? Is it because we are Muslim, therefore we must wear it? or is it merely an accessory to our clothes?

HOW should we wear Hijab? Most of the Muslimas out there believe the purpose of Hijab is to cover our hair but they don't realize that this is just a tenth part of the real reason why we don it.

Again, it is the Noble Quran that act as our guidance and lays out the terms of how to wear Hijab in that we must cover the CHEST and NECK areas, NOT JUST the hair. And what of the clothes? LOOSE and must not take the shape of the wearer. Combining Hijab with tight fitting clothes just reflects the depth of our Islamic knowledge or even if we bother to apply it in the first place. Consider this, if we were asked to do a task, would we not try our very best to fulfill it? Take exams for example. We'd give it our all to get that 'A' no matter what. Then why is it so hard for us to apply this to our deen, our way of life as surely Islam is. Why don't we try our best? Why is it always half-heartedly?

Compare the government who is ruled by the Prime Minister. What is written in the law, we do because we are good citizens and we'd hate to be jailed for opposing them. But when it comes to the word of Allah, our Creator. Why don't we do the same? He is after all, the Creator of all including humans that call themselves ruler of people.

This, is what we call secularism.

A day without Internet and TV

2010-12-02T14:48:00.002+11:00

Ever ask yourself what you would do if there was no Internet and no TV at your house?

Pretty tough situation eh? Where would all that time go to instead?

I'd wager that if we did away with both these things, our life would be way more productive, we'd be living more, doing more, moving around a lot more. Practically do everything differently because our lives wouldn't be governed by these 2 things.

The way I see it, you could either let TV and internet control you, or you control them. Technology was meant to make our lives easier. Convenience at a touch of a button. Eliminating hard labour. However, it does has its cons too...The most interesting thing I read recently was to do with social networking sites; they actually make you less social rather than what their namesakes suggest! As in, you'd be sitting there all day, cooped up in your room, on the chair, for hours on end, stalking people on Facebook, leaving comments, liking comments, posting stuff on your wall. But hey, let's get real, whose your number one fan that goes to your page every single day? It's all about us anyway, trying to preen in public. But who the hell gives a damn? Except yourself that is. Even if you have thousands of friends, are they even real? Everything's so virtual and fake.

And at the end of the day, that's 3 hours or probably more that's wasted in a day. In short, social networking sites could be that; keeping in touch with friends and finding long lost ones. Checking up on them once in a while and thats about it. Why'd you spend endless hours doing otherwise? Don't let yourself be sucked into the useless vortex. It's just unhealthy.

Let's talk about TV. I'd sometimes wonder when I do sit on the couch and push that button, how different life would be if we didn't have this idiot box in our lives. We'd be more active for one. Find something productive to do for another. Instead, what do we find ourselves doing? After one show, we flip to another. And then the cycle goes on. That's half a day doing nothing but sit and watch a screen full of moving pictures. The worst thing about it is, we are actually looking at all these actors living their 'lives' while we wither away, packing on the pounds and our brains just shrivel up into nothing. When I think about it, the TV is like something hypnotic. It gets us hypnotized for a few hours. We just can't take our eyes off it. We sit there, face slack, or sometimes laughing. What life is it that we're living? It's like a scene from the living dead.

Technology is good in moderation but too much of it can poison you. The same thing applies to everything else we do in our lives; be it eating, exercising, socializing, and etc. Keeping a nice, healthy balance is key to a fulfilling life. Ask yourself what you want to be, why you're here and where you want to go in life. Carpe Diem!

7 things I do that you don't

2010-12-02T14:23:00.002+11:00

Whenever I un-box something new especially electronics, I try my best to keep the wires in their original condition i.e. keep it coiled (I just love the little twiny wire that bunches them all together)
I don't like having fingerprints on my laptop or on the screen of my ipod. It just feels greasy and gross.
I hate having anything on my desktop. I like to hide them so that I can see the wallpaper. I know it defeats the purpose of having a desktop but to hell with that.
Speaking of electronics, I keep all of them in separate drawstring pouches because if I don't I'll waste probably half an hour trying to remember where I put them and find myself digging up tons of stuff from my bag and not finding them.
I'm the worst at finding lost items. I have my older sister and my mum to do that for me. If I really can't find what I'm looking for, I'd start to turn on my foul-mouth mode and then start throwing stuff around and I'd get so mad my eyes would tear up. No kidding. So I'd rather skip that whole part and let others do it for me. Most importantly, that's what nesting is all about. I have my own personal nest of everything: my clothes, my scarves, my electronics, you name it, I have it.
If my mom or dad's driving, I wouldn't know the directions they took even if my life depended on it. I'm a very bad co-driver. I'm useless at map reading. I have absolutely no sense of direction. I don't drive because I'll get hopelessly lost. I'd rather cycle, take the bus, the train or just plain walk everywhere. Yeah. Really. The only way I'll know I'm not lost is if I recognize a particular building from last time. It's all about landmarks to me. I don't do street names. Nope. Not a chance in hell.
I don't know if it's the way I walk or is it because I'm fat but my feet always end up hurting like hell once I've completed a round of shopping for the whole day. Even the comfiest shoes i.e. Clarks, Camel Active, Crocs, Nike or Adidas can't help with my affliction. I sometimes wonder if I should go to a Podiatrist or something.

I got the green light!

2010-11-28T23:58:00.002+11:00

Results came out last Friday.

I was hoping to get at least one Distinction. But hey, all credits is as good a spot as any considering its the 2nd semester of the hardest year in Engineering (this is according to most of my seniors).

So I'm grateful I passed everything. Alhamdulillah!

This means I have TWO more semesters to go!!!

Insha-Allah my journey will be smooth sailing starting next semester. Ameen

I guess it's time for me to start updating myself since I just got an upgrade to 4.1 :)

Kamelia and me :)

2010-11-25T21:36:00.003+11:00

At the entrance : Pavilion

Outside Pavilion

Inside the Pavilion

At Kopitiam

Inside the Pavilion: Again!

Actually we went to THREE places: Low Yat (Kamelia pronounces it LO and me, Lau!), Lot 10, and lastly Pavilion :D Boy, we saw like, 2 bapoks and our feet hurt like crazy by the time we got back. KTM was stuffed

Greek mythology is fascinating

2010-11-25T20:11:00.002+11:00

I've watched Disney's Hercules so many times, I practically know the dialogues by heart now. But it never gets old. The scenes I love most is:

When he's flown up to Olympus on a cloud with Meg beside him.

Then Apollo shouts: "3 cheers for the Mighty Hercules!"

Hera: Hercules... we missed you

Hercules: Mother...

Hera: You were willing to give your life to save this young woman

Zeus: For a true hero is not measured by the size of his strength but by the strength of his heart... Now.. my son... (holding Hercules' shoulder)... you can come home

*awe inspiring music* as the gates to Olympus opens in front of him

When he beats Cyclops, leans over the precipice and Cyclops' fall causes a pillar to shake and fall and then Meg screams: "Hercules! Look out!"

Hercules: Meg! Nooooo!!!

He slowly lifts the pillar off of Meg, and then his strength gradually returns: "What's happening?"

Meg: Hades' deal is broken. He promised I won't get hurt

Hercules: Meg... why did you..?

Meg: People always do crazy things... when they're in love

Hercules: Oh.. Meg..

When Zeus arranges the stars and hangs a picture of Hercules in the sky.

As Phil put it: "Yeah, I had a dream. I dreamed I'd train the greatest hero that ever lived. So great, that God would hang a picture of him in the sky, and people would say: hey, that's Phil's boy! That's right... "

Meg's song!

Prophecies from The Great Hunt

2010-11-15T15:14:00.003+11:00

And men cried out to their Creator, praying, O Light of the Heavens, Light of the World, let the Promised One be born of the mountain, according to the Prophecies, as he was in Ages past and will be in Ages to come. Let the Prince of the Morning sing to the land that green things will grow and the valleys give forth lambs. Let the arm of the Lord of the Dawn shelter us from the Dark, and the great sword of justice defend us. Let the Dragon ride again on the winds of time.

--from Choral, Drinaan to Calaanon, The Cycle of the Dragon, Author unknown, the Fourth Age

Twice and twice shall he be marked, twice to live, and twice to die.

Once the heron, to set his path,

Twice the heron to name him true.

Once the Dragon, for remembrance lost,

Twice the Dragon, for the price he must pay.

-The Karaethon Cycle

Let he who sounds me think not of glory but only of salvation

-The Horn of Valere prophecy

Dear heart

2010-11-09T22:57:00.002+11:00

I left my heart at home.

I left it there to roam.

Wonder the halls of memory.

Now almost hollow and empty

After almost one year

I'm coming back for you dear!

Back to my heart that beats so loudly

Waiting for me, waiting for me

24

2010-11-09T21:52:00.003+11:00

I like Bill Buchanan's voice.

My favorite character Tony Almeida died after my 'husband' (this baddie has a wife named after me and he was ROBOCOP! I knew he was familiar from somewhere!!!) syringed him to death.

Jack Bauer is always sacrificing himself for his country. I mean, is that even real? No one man can stand having first his wife killed, then his daughter estranged from him, and then 3 of his closest friends die in front of his eyes, and then he gets thrown into a Chinese prison. Even after all this, he doesn't hesitate one moment to save his fellow Americans. It's just unreal.

I hate it when Donald Sutherland was not cast as his dad, Philip Bauer. It would've been perfect! I wonder why?

It's uncanny how I can match someone's name to their face. First it was Reiko Aylesworth, and then it's Powers Boothe. Cool ey? Maybe I could make a career out of this. Not! haha

I felt really sad when David Palmer got shot in the neck. Which means that the 24 team did a really good job at fleshing out their characters. At first I thought this Denzel look-alike was really annoying, with his really deep voice and politics in the White House but then you get used to it after sometime.

The methods of torture that Bauer resorts to is kind of old. It's always that neural injection thingy. Get this, John Noble a.k.a the mad professor Bishop in Fringe got his finger cut off by a cigar cutter and you would've believed his accent as a Russian Ambassador was real!

It's brilliant how TV is just a series of dialogs that tell their own story. And you wonder why I don't bother watching Malay dramas?

October and November

2010-11-07T19:42:00.004+11:00

In the spirit of holiday-ing

2010-11-02T17:59:00.002+11:00

I don't know why all I'm thinking about nowadays is money and more money and how best to get it in a short time.

Must be the way my allowance is fast going down the drain and the fact that I'll be flying off to America and England sooooon ! (yay me!)

Let's see, first it was the ticket to Melbourne.

And then the various instances where I accidentally clicked confirm to buy on some items on E-bay.. or couldn't stop myself from bidding...

and then, the damn internet quota that I had to refill that cost me 52 bucks. So not worth it considering how fast it's consumed! 4GB in just how many days...

For the record, I thought I was a more careful spender but it turns out not to be.

On the bright side, I've secured myself some money to spend at home through my proof-reading, grammar-checking, translating skills. Tomorrow I work with Lauren at AMC to promote the AMC Technical re-union Forum (big bucks there! $.$)

And then there's plans to sell my old clothes at either Evendale or Esk market (this is gonna be so cooool!)

now what else can I do?

Can you hear it ring
It makes you wanna sing
It's such a beautiful thing--Ka-ching!
Lots of diamond rings
The happiness it brings
You'll live like a king
With lots of money and things

8 Places and 8 To dos

2010-10-29T19:33:00.002+11:00

AMC -Mermaid fin FYP, part time work $$$, OVD! Rhino + AutoCAD
Hobart - Salamanca Market -Leather wallet
America - $$$, Abrar
England - $$$, Jinan
Malaysia - 2 months internship + family+ friends
Melbourne - transit to Malaysia
Apple - Macbook Pro and new iPod Touch!
E-bay + Evandale mkt vs. Vinnies' + Salvos - Sell old jeans + clothes

1 down 1 more to go

2010-10-23T16:43:00.002+11:00

How many days between today and the 28th?

23---> hydro revise (1st gear: happy cause Ship Dynamics paper was good! so a bit lazy lah)

24---> revise (2nd gear: revving up: cover all the tutes)

25---> revise (3rd gear: panic starts to set in, but still I watch as many tv series as I can!)

26---> revise (4th gear: no more playing around: serious business this, study!)

27---> revise (lethargy and nausea starts to set in around now)

28 <------------- ! 1 pm -4pm: FREEEEEEEDOM!!!

Victorian-esque

2010-10-21T20:13:00.005+11:00

I killed 25 Qs

2010-10-21T18:57:00.005+11:00

I like this kitty's expression, it's the exact mirror of mine =) My brain's exhausted. Having to process all that info in less than a week! Brrrh!

After 3 days and then some... that's how long it took me to smash all the 25 questions in Seakeeping. Better make sure the tips and tricks stay in my head till Saturday afternoon. Note: the picture above is my temporary scribble-on-to do list. And it's marked with red coz when I was in primary school my teacher told me the color red makes you remember better. Not that all that haphazard crazy handwriting will help me all that much when it comes to revising this later on. But that'll do.

O yeah.

I could barely sleep last night because of all the commotion of winning the Cummin's award :)

It surely is a big thing at AMC, imagine all the cameras were there, the local newspapers, the photographer, AMC marketing people. Phew! What a day!

I'll let you in on my little secret: I actually heard the lady reporter say "so I'll interview the lady that won after this" to one of the Cummins' reps. and I was like (OMG! DID I WIN?!)

Then, I was just sitting there, calming myself down. Telling myself it was just my imagination when the Cummins' rep shushed the lady reporter, saying they're not supposed to know yet... how amusing. Killed my suspense on the spot I tell ya.

That's me in the local paper. Too bad they got my dad's name wrong. It's spelled like an Italian mafia boss's name now. Haha. I rushed to laminate it at the print shop and that's when I met the would be teacher, who recognized me from the papers. A complete stranger, a lady =) happy that another lady trumped all the guys out there! That certainly made my day.

Sister Shireen called, some time before to say she saw me on the telly yesterday! Screaming to herself "I know that girl! I know that girl!" then promptly ringing everyone I knew from the masjeed that I was on tv and had won some kind of award.. way to go Muslimah! :D and kindy teacher yah! (though I have missed a ton of classes these past few weeks)

Since exams is starting in 2 days, I still can't fully process this amazing win yet. But I will when I finish hydrodynamics paper next thursday. Hmm... now back to revising the 2nd bit: Manouevring.

I winned it!

2010-10-20T14:37:00.005+11:00

Thank you Allah

Thank you Mom and Dad for your prayers

Thank you Jinan, Jane Emery, Ashley Jones and Sally McKenzie for your precious interview advice

Thank you Abrar for just being in the US, inspired me to apply in the first place!

Thank you Yasmine for the mock interviews (lol!)

Thank you Laurie, Troy and Cummins for believing in me

Thank you Din, for the promotion on FB(lol) and for the pics!

Thank you AMC

Thank you everyone!

Sometimes they come back (again!)

2010-10-17T17:41:00.004+11:00

Seagate 880 GB capacity plugged to my laptop: in case of stress overload

If you're naturally sweet-natured, candy will always be your friend. =) Especially, in these critical times

Dominos and pizza hut+ Farmer's Union Iced coffee: main staple once Exam comes

The 2 big ones before going off for summer break!

Sweets for the sweet

2010-10-15T23:19:00.003+11:00

Someone left me flowers outside my door when I came back from class =)

Was it my imagination, or did my whole corridor smell like jasmine?

For once my nostrils don't have to endure the nasty B.O coming from one of the residents in the corridor.

I've got one more assignment left to do, and semester 2 of 3rd year is officially over!

Therefore, be patient. Surely the promise of Allah is true

2010-10-10T21:12:00.003+11:00

I open my book to do some practice questions. The class test is in 2 days.

Now I realize the Euler and Runge-Kutta formulas staring up at me make absolutely no sense.

I can practically hear the gears grinding in my brain, trying to make that vital connection to my neurons; but something just ain't clicking. It's been probably a whole month since I last revisited this particular topic. Could that be why? I struggle to understand but still... nothing. So I go online and check the solutions. Because that's what I do when I get stuck. But whaddya know... I still can't fathom it.

I think of h0w just a few days before, I've been stressing out about how to do the bubble lab and what would happen if neither me nor my lab partner knew what to do. What if I struggled like mad to do the last bit of the Finite Element analysis group assignment and what do I say when its time to present our ship design?

Then, bit by bit, all my worries are washed away as if by magic. Firstly, my lab partner met with me and told me that he figured out how to work out the most difficult part of the lab: Fast Fourier Transforms using Excel. After, I learnt from my friend how to measure the minute bubbles using Paint. Voila! We were 50% through it in no time. I stole some time here and there to write up more on the introductory part of the report.

Yesterday night, I'd officially been put out of a job when one of my team mates told me my part of the structural analysis is impossible to do and far too complicated. This morning, I figured out how to get around this problem and worked the rest of the day typing up the results I had obtained for the buckling analysis of the longest members of the helideck model.

At noon, my team mate drew up our Power Point slides and I took the liberty of transferring them to my hard disk. Now, it's just waiting for which part goes to whom.

Slowly, slowly, bit by bit, everything has fallen into place.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِِ

أَلَمْ نَشْرَحْ لَكَ صَدْرَكَ {1

Have We not expanded for you your breast,

وَوَضَعْنَا عَنكَ وِزْرَكَ {2

And taken off from you your burden,

الَّذِي أَنقَضَ ظَهْرَكَ {3

Which pressed heavily upon your back,

وَرَفَعْنَا لَكَ ذِكْرَكَ {4

And exalted for you your esteem?

فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا {5

Surely with difficulty is ease.

إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا {6

With difficulty is surely ease.

فَإِذَا فَرَغْتَ فَانصَبْ {7

So when you are free, nominate.

وَإِلَى رَبِّكَ فَارْغَبْ {8

And make your Lord your exclusive object.

3.2: Do I get to upgrade to 4.1?

2010-10-06T18:55:00.003+11:00

My head is swimming.

This is by far the toughest semester ever. Hands down.

I'm fuming at Irene right now. I mean, she's turning into another Chile.

Damnation! One Chile is enough already. Setting papers with questions no one knows the answers to because it hasn't been covered in class; how the hell is that a fair assessment?!

The other thing is Applied ship design. I'm getting swamped with how much I've got to catch up on. My team mate seems to be hogging all the work. Dang, really need to get up to speed with all this stuff. I'm so not looking forward to next year's Ocean Vehicle Design (bloody Giles and the Australian industry). Not till I go off and practice somewhere for a bit, which I'm hoping to do over the summer break with the classification societies or on my new Macbook (can't wait to see ya!)

On top of all this, next week is the last week of semester: week 13. My group's just starting our Finite Element Analysis meeting (Bloody Chile). My ship design group still has to knock up a rough draft of who's presenting what for next Wednesday. My other partner and I have still to look at that Cavitation Lab and write the freaking report(bloody bubbles, bloody Irene!). I've still got that numerical FEA test to pass and another Ship design class test in that same week. I'm just lovin' it.

As Damien puts it: I'm numb and way beyond tears now.

As I put it: Please Lord, if you love me, take care of me till Friday next week. Ameen!

Allahumaftahli abwab ar-rizq

2010-09-23T17:42:00.006+10:00

Questions from the Panel:

1. Tell us of a time where you demonstrated leadership, creativity or innovation?

2. What made you do Naval Architecture? How did you get involved into the marine side of things?

3. What type of vessels are you interested in?

4. What is your short term goal?

5. What is your long term goal? What do you aim for in your career?

6. What do you hope to gain from this award? And how will it help you in the future?

7. Have you done any previous work experience?

8. Are you involved in other activities outside of uni?

Me:

It was a good run. I got my answers straight. I was well prepared. Alhamdulillah

o Allah Thee (alone) we worship; Thee (alone) we ask for help

And whosoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty).
And He will provide him from (sources) he never could imagine. And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish his purpose. Indeed Allah has set a measure for all things.

(at-Talaq 65:2-3)

Elyas Machera to Perrin Aybara

2010-09-13T15:10:00.002+10:00

Take life as it comes. Run when you have to, fight when you must, rest when you can

My lament

2010-09-09T14:55:00.002+10:00

I'm looking forward to the end of semester

which will be on the 15th of October.

I can't wait when exams will be over.

And then, day 12 of November.

At the moment though

I've got 4 weeks to go

An assignment due Friday

and a class test next Tuesday

Just got back from the Bluefin trip

Had a taste of being sea-sick on a ship

Barely 1 and a half days on land

I can feel the pressure of assignments at hand

oh, when do I get my rest?

why do I have to take that test?

why do I feel so lazy?

why'd Ramadhan leave so early?

I'll be back at the pc labs, analyzing my helideck

and they'll be celebrating raya, oh what the heck

The END

2010-09-09T14:38:00.003+10:00

The sky's overcast. The day is so gray.

The trees still await the growth of new leaves.

I look outside my window. I sigh deep inside.

Goodbye my dear friend.

I hope to see you again.

Apologize, I must.

I fear my welcome was lack-luster

You stay seems so short.

I thought you would linger.

But o how I wish, I could have you here forever.

I barely noticed the gifts you brought with you.

All the peace and tranquility.

And the love of Illahi.

Farewell Ramadhan

Insha Allah we will meet each other next, in the best of Imaan

Dreaming out loud

2010-08-07T11:12:00.003+10:00

Well all I need

Is the air I breathe

And a place to rest

My head

-One Republic-Dreaming out Loud

Non-stop 3 hours at it! and voila! the skeleton of my literature review assignment is almost finished! ~BIG SIGH of RELIEF~

Yesterday night I had some high hopes to get most of it done, but after doing the head-busting ship dynamics examples for almost 2 hours, it just didn't work out.. what I did instead was finish an entire story book! oh dear... but it was a really memorable, awesome story from one of my favorite authors. teehee

It's almost lunch time and I feel hungry. Better finish up the seafood lasgne that I made last Thursday.

Nobody, not even poets, Has ever measured, How much the heart can hold

2010-08-06T15:32:00.006+10:00

I wonder, I wonder

I wonder why each

Little bird has someone

To sing to sweet things to

A gay little love melody?

I wonder, I wonder

If my heart keeps singing

Will my song go winging

To someone who'll find me

And bring back a love song to me?

I kept singing " I wonder.. I wonder..." as I walked back from class. Then I looked up the other parts to the song. This song kept floating in my head ever since I watched Sleeping Beauty that day. I remember in the book that I bought, prince charming was much more good looking. Upon closer inspection (pausing the frame to the movie), he's not THAT handsome at all. Meaning: no clearly defined cheekbones. Sigh...

After that, I downloaded the songs 'Once upon a dream'. (Emily Osment's version and the original version). Now I'm humming "I know you... I danced with you once upon a dream... "

The things I do to pass my time. Haha!

Iz SO adorable!

2010-08-04T19:59:00.001+10:00

Ya Salam, grant me peace and tranquility

2010-07-25T16:55:00.006+10:00

Being alone is very difficult -Yoko Ono

Beautiful day with beautiful people

2010-07-25T16:07:00.002+10:00

Hydrodynamics

2010-07-24T17:24:00.002+10:00

START-

More than 60 problems to do and I just completed the first 2.
A literature review that's going to be handed out next week, Monday and I've done virtually no research yet.
Tutorial problem sheet with 11 questions on it and I've managed to nut out 2 of them.

And best of all: I have to dig out my Calculus of Several Variables book from last year, rummage through the vector calculus bit, and try to remember how I did the damn thing in the 1st place.

At the end of my lit review, I have to present my findings to the whole class, which has to span 7 minutes.

-END

The turmoil in the sea of my mind

Randomness

2010-07-18T09:10:00.004+10:00

I'm hungry, but I don't know what to eat. I want cereal but I've run out. I have bread but I don't have jam. I have butter though.. and honey... ahha!

I just figured out how to do partial differentials again! (arctan yo!)

I'm stalking people on facebook coz maybe I miss seeing them and talking to them.

I keep listening to this Hindi OST that I watched last time (Rab ne bana di Jodi). I just like the whole composition and the lyrics are really nice =)

I want to do my laundry but it's raining outside. Maybe it's time to use my transparent umbrella?

There's this really hawt Iranian guy that just moved in. His name is Kay Khosra. And he reminds me of Christiano Ronaldo.

today in pictures

2010-07-17T11:52:00.005+10:00

Made my name out of Sticky felt and stuck them on a plate. Then I pinned it to my cork board.

My timetable is totally blank, as I am too lazy to nut out how I should organize my 11 remaining weeks of the semester

This whiteboard is so last semester. Even then, there wasn't much to write about. I stopped when I got that 1st assignment for Resistance and Propulsion in which I scored a 12/15! (^ ^)

The bag that I had to buy in Spotlight so that I could fill all my stuff since they were going plastic bag free

My wall of bags. 3 on the right I got from Korea when I went there with Mom. The 1st one from left I got from Vivo in Lonnie. It's denim and it's like a wallet.

The pot-pourri I got from Spotlight. I even got the bowl too. It smells of lavender

Me and candy refuse to be separated. I got these from Salamanca and I love them to bits!

The keycard that will always stick with me coz I can't afford to get locked out of my room and pay 5 bucks all the time! so far I've been locked out a grand total of ONE time! yay me!

That letter M keychain is made from Kangaroo leather. It's really tough and looks cool too. That glitter glue is for my class project with my kids from Arabic school

Poor little fatty ipod lies forgotten ever since I got myself my ipod Touch... ooh.. It's being 'crushed' by my kangaroo fur pouch where I store all my cables.

There's not much going on in my 1st week of semester except the big bold words on Friday. Anti discrimination forum that I attended. Too bad the main speaker went to the wrong campus!

My class project! =)

My breakfast for today. I'm sure Santa Claus would've been proud!

Oh dear, look at the time! I need to get going! Lazy bum...

Ghazali's last

2010-07-14T10:09:00.001+10:00

Say to my friends, when they look upon me, dead
Weeping for me and mourning me in sorrow
Do not believe that this corpse you see is myself
In the name of God, I tell you, it is not I,

I am a spirit, and this is naught but flesh
It was my abode and my garment for a time.

I am a treasure, by a talisman kept hid,
Fashioned of dust, which served me as a shrine,
I am a pearl, which has left it's shell deserted,
I am a bird, and this body was my cage
Whence I have now flown forth and it is left as a token
Praise to God, who hath now set me free
And prepared for me my place in the highest of the heaven,
Until today I was dead, though alive in your midst.
Now I live in truth, with the grave - clothes discarded.

Today I hold converse with the saints above,
With no veil between, I see God face to face.
I look upon "Loh-i-Mahfuz" and there in I read
Whatever was and is and all that is to be.

Let my house fall in ruins, lay my cage in the ground,
Cast away the talisman, it is a token, no more
Lay aside my cloak, it was but my outer garment.
Place them all in the grave, let them be forgotten,
I have passed on my way and you are left behind
Your place of abode was no dwelling place for me.

Think not that death is death, nay, it is life,
A life that surpasses all we could dream of here,
While in this world, here we are granted sleep,
Death is but sleep, sleep that shall be prolonged
Be not frightened when death draweth night,
It is but the departure for this blessed home
Think of the mercy and love of your Lord,
Give thanks for His Grace and come without fear.

What I am now, even so shall you be
For I know that you are even as I am
The souls of all men come forth from God
The bodies of all are compounded alike
Good and evil, alike it was ours
I give you now a message of good cheer
May God's peace and joy for evermore be yours.

- Abu Hamed al-Ghazzali (1058-1111), famously known as Algazel to the western medieval world. may God bless his station.

Breaking point

2010-07-12T22:03:00.002+10:00

Last semester was tough.

I reasoned that it's not so much the course content, but the way it was delivered that made the subjects tougher than they actually were.

On the one hand, you get good lecturers who know what they're talking about and teach the subject amazingly well, but give really tough class tests (read: structural ANALysis) and on the other hand, you get really, really smart lecturers who can't teach even if it was to save their lives. (Noise and Vibe + Materials)

And, since I've run out of hands, I've got resistance and propulsion, (on) my foot! delivered really well by Binnsie, but I managed to stuff up the one class test for that unit.

So yeah, it was TOUGH.

Add to that the fact that I was always in the same team as this guy, who, by the way is a total nut-case and control freak, made last semester, possibly the least favorite of all my semesters in AMC.

Doom and gloom aside, I managed to pull through in the end; my silver lining on that dark, angry thunderhead.

Alhamdulillah, Ya 'Aziz, for giving me victory over last semester.

Haule Haule

2010-07-09T14:36:00.003+10:00

SLOWLY SLOWLY...

(just As) A Breeze Wafts Slowly

(just As) Medicines Work Slowly

(just As) Prayers Are Answered Slowly

(just As) The Moon Rises Slowly

(just As) A Veil Lifts Slowly

Have A Little Patience My Friend

Take A Deep Breath My Dear

Don't Worry So Much

Life Is Too Short For That

Slowly Slowly You Will Fall In Love My Dear

Slowly Slowly You Will Fall In Love

The Path Of Love Is Arduous

It's Bound By Shyness

Its A Strange War Within

This Heart Worries All The Time

It Feels Shy All The Time

It Says Something And Does Something Else

Its A Difficult Puzzle, But This Silly Heart

(does Not Understand That) Haste In Love Is A Big Crime

Have A Little Patience My Friend

Take A Deep Breath My Dear

Don't Worry So Much

Life Is Too Short For That

Slowly Slowly You Will Fall In Love My Dear

Slowly Slowly You Will Fall In Love

Everything Happens By God’s Grace

So I Hope He Casts A Spell

So That My Sweetheart Accepts Me

God Will Guide Your Steps

So What If You Don’t See The Shore, Keep On Going

So What If There’s No Palanquin, Keep On Going

Which Poet Was It Who Said…

It's An Ocean Of Fire, You Have To Drown To Swim Across

Have Patience My Friend

Take A Deep Breath My Dear

Don’t Worry So Much

Life Is Too Short For That

Slowly You’ll Fall In Love

p/s:

It's a song. That I like. =)

giant gasp

2010-06-24T12:34:00.002+10:00

It feels like I crawled into a dark, dank cave for a month.

Now that I'm finally out. The sun shines too bright, my former classmate is getting hitched!

and the world looks completely different.

And I've also noted the unhealthy sheen of my complexion.

Give your stress wings and let it fly away

2010-05-02T09:43:00.002+10:00

I think it is HIGH time I acknowledged it. 4 more weeks and then boom ! EXAMS. Heaps of assignments and TONNES of homework that I haven't done yet.

Sometimes it seems your ever-increasing list of things to do can leave you feeling totally undone. ~Susan Mitchell and Catherine Christie, I'd Kill for a Cookie

101

2010-05-01T08:13:00.003+10:00

if it was measured in years, my blog post count would be a century already! how old! =)

but question. Has it gotten any wiser?

yesterday they were hanging my poster all banner-like in the director's office!!! The door was wide open, and everyone who walked past it could see! Even me! (after Daniel Bloomfield a.k.a bloomer asked me if that was really who he thought it was..haha) That managed to take my mind off from the huge amount of money I splurged on my new phone, and on the groceries that I just bought (all that red meat, and it IS HALAL, had to have cost me something).

proceeded to Careeer's fair, trying to find myself some vacation work, if possible, during winter. And it turns out, it's not that possible. Most of them are giving out places for summer, and some don't even accept undergrads. Sigh... This bodes well for MISC then. I'll be seein' ya! but this time I'm aiming for the SHIPYARD! holla! oh... and I talked to the AUSTAL guy who does all the resistance analysis for their various catamarans, trimarans and what not. Asked him about placement in Mobile, Alabama, and erk... let's just say that shipyard is purely military based. Me being a muslim and all. So not the drama! Imagine getting shot down even before I get a visa! ~.~

Whiled the better part of the day away, cooking some beef soaked in rosemary and oregano oil (most prized possession in the kitchen right now), tons of pepper and parsley. But to my horror, MEB foods make the worst souvlaki bread ever!!! It just crumbles away, next time I'm gonna stick to Mission foods and I won't mind the price either! The bread just threw off the whole lebanese wrap vibe I got going on. *annoyance*

Night descended bringing the cold along... I refused to get out of my cozy room. I think it must have been too cozy since my brain just suddenly went to hibernation mode or something. It was sluggish, slow to follow orders. Usually that's what happens if I don't do Taebo. But, this observation is still a week old... so I've got reservations. It's either not enough adrenaline/endorphins or my room's too warm and I get sleepy. (forgot to mention my new phone... maybe that's why??? all focus on my new love! hihi)

let's see, Climhazzard's got all my brains, worries and everything I could think of dumping into it right now. So I'm happy. I think the poor baby's stressed though... sorry.... my bad! getting back to work now... I've gotta share the load (echo -echo... *remember Samwise Gamgee when he said this to Frodo? yep...)

Climhazzard

2010-04-24T09:59:00.004+10:00

If NASA is celebrating their 20th anniversary for their Hubble telescope, I'm celebrating my 100th blog post! yeah! Something akin to the greatness of NASA's feat I presume. * hey, a little bit of sarcasm never hurt anyone right?*

Anyways, the busiest week of the semester, which was last week, has finally passed, leaving me feeling like I just survived a whirlwind tornado that decided to drop by on my otherwise peaceful, quiet, and idyllic life. In all the torrent of being blown off my feet, I managed to hold on to a frail looking post that I call my inner faith. Admittedly, it has already been whittled quite a bit by the howling winds leaving it barely recognizable. It wasn't until the advent of this storm that I realized how wispy it looked and felt like. That's when it struck me that I should make the post stronger, make it easier to cling on in times of need. If it breaks, I'll be swept by the wind. Just gone, gone with the wind. Pardon me, but I sure as heck do not want to be Alice, who fell down the rabbit hole, into the abyss.

The tornado didn't just leave a massive trail of dirt in its wake (referring to the uncouth state of my room at the moment), it also left me thinking about where I let most of my time go to. Did I spend it eating too much? What if it was daydreaming? what if...? It is so hard to pinpoint exactly where it is wasted and thus, this is where, I will point out the true, glorious worth of having an unmatched organizer called my iPod, which I nicknamed Climhazzard by the way (after my favorite Cloud Strife limit break) I've been bursting with excitement ever since I first got it.

It was in the courtyard, outside the Co-op bookshop, under the tree where I had the first official unwrapping ceremony. Main witness: Yasmine. Admittedly, it did not go exactly as planned, we had to tap the casing numerous times for the iPod to fall out! Such geeks we are. I almost had a moment of e-bay doubt in which involves hurling abuses at the seller and demanding a refund for sending me a China-made iPod.

Being sadly absent minded, most of the time, and I didn't realize to what extent of which it had hijacked my brain until I kept getting reminded of renewing books at the library and buying groceries, that extra class etc. etc. I am especially and eternally grateful that a device just magically showed up to help me be more productive and keep me organized.

I guess, my dad is right when he says he usually used his iPod for its calendar function. The alerts are just amazing. Again, I just can't believe how forgetful I am.

All in all, I truly appreciate the phrase my debate teacher used to say to us, Carpe Diem! Seize the Day! Make full use of the day, leave no areas for idleness, be the most productive you can be, maximize your time by doing something meaningful and useful but don't forget to take time out for yourself. Otherwise, it'd be like a sadly repeating scene where a bedraggled looking girl, lab coat and safety boots in hand, curses at her jeans for being so loose as she tries to run from one uncovered walkway to the other to avoid the pouring rain. At the end, she stumbles to her room, too tired to think of anything else but the song "set me free why don't you babe" while she thankfully sinks into oblivion.

At the end, a day is measured by how much you've put into it. I love going to bed feeling exhausted without any thought except blissful sleep that awaits because I know I've seized the day. I made it mine.

Today in doodles

2010-04-13T23:24:00.002+10:00

Quirky quirks

2010-04-07T22:45:00.003+10:00

Tribute to the Most Beautiful Human Being who ever lived

2010-04-07T21:18:00.002+10:00

Balagha al-`ula bi kamalihi
Kashafa ad-duja bi jamalihi
Hasunat jami`u khisalihi
Sallu `alayhi wa aalihi

For his face, that shone like the sun and moon

For the smile, that lightened a darkened room

For his life, that turned night to brightest noon